Archives for the month of: August, 2012

me as an Archie character

Headed out for day 2 Expo at 10 – arrived by 10:45 – no major lines up to deal with today – other than folks blocking the aisles to take cosplay pics – seeing so many do that I resisted taking those pics – there’ll be enough of them – I remember my first Expo about four years ago – my niece & friend were coming from the east coast – wanted to stay with me – which was fine – I’d never been to Expo & by the time I knew about it all the super deluxe tickets were gone – I ended with the ordinary 3 day pass – I did take loads of pics that year -

seeing double

Since then I’ve gotten the deluxe (tax deduction for me) – this is the first year that my niece hasn’t come up but I’m hooked. Some years I take in some of the Q&A – but I find three hours at Expo any one day more than enough – I was happy when they extended it to four days so I could do my two days without having to deal with those weekend crowds – getting around the place is hard enough without adding endless baby carriages & hand-held toddlers to the mix -

Day One I scope out things & buy some stuff – day 2 I walk all the rows, pick up tee-shirts – seemed to be more sculpture & action figure booths this year – always love to see those fanboys cross-legged on the floor flipping through boxes of comics with a want-lists on hand.

logo-trans

I did my own fanboy squee for Dan Parent – a current Archie Comics artist – he did my portrait last year & I had another done this year – I became fan because of work he’s produced for gay characters & getting them married – issues banned in some parts of the USA – what I really liked is that he made them male (female is safer as hetero male readers find girl-on-girl erotic) & one of them is black – sweet.

Did my three hours of walking, sitting, almost got a pic of Superman taking a leak in the washroom but wasn’t ready to be that bold.

Totally digging Lizzie Violet’s  Best New Werewolf Tales – a great range of styles – legendary, old world, future world, zombies, erotica and comic – about 3/4 through now but so far all heterosexual – figures as everyone know how much gay men hate body hair :-)

August 28, Tuesday – attending: Elektra

September 11, Tuesday – attending: Hedda Gabbler

September 13, Thursday – attending: The Beautiful and the Damned

October 11, Thursday – Go Bump feature The Beautiful and The Damned

October 28, Saturday – attending 2012 Toronto SpecFic Colloquium

writing sample

writing sample

another hint of my Go Bump set:

*A Bite*

one morning there was a bite

an arc on my forearm

almost on my elbow

clear distinct human

top row bottom row

teeth marks

skin not broken

bruised red ridges indents

now where I could have done it

it wasn’t there when I went to bed

there was another bite

on my left heel

it was tender to the touch

another spot my mouth could never reach

then a final bite mark

on my inner thigh

I could still feel a mouth there

a tongue warm and wet

as teeth sank in

as if someone had

tried to devour me in my sleep

all day I found myself

rolling up my sleeve

just far enough to see the first mark

it hadn’t faded into a pink rose

it was still there

an red angry smear

when I got home

the others were also there

as if something had a hold of me all day

I checked the mirror carefully

had I missed one

did they make a pattern

they didn’t glow in the dark

they didn’t throb

there was no pain

only the sensation of my hand

when I touched them

weeks later

years later

they are still there

and despite them

there is never less of me

@TorPoet

@TorPoet

dive into it

dive into it

Exit my house around 11 a.m. – made sure I had charged camera battery, wore sensible shoes, had knee brace for extended standing, the right play list on the iPod, reading Best New Werewolf Tales on Kindle in transit – off at Union Station – caraway rye bagel with herb garlic cream cheese from Bagel Works, then coffee & danish from Tim Ho’s, take pics of cosplay, put knee brace on -

Arrived in first line up by 12 noon – take pics of line-ups, blazing sun, finish danish, sip coffee, doors open at 12:30 for next-level-down line-ups – inside & one floor down – finish bagel – 1:15 let loose to next level down for next set of line-ups to pick up premium pass bags – finally on Expo main floor by 1:30 & final line-up for early entry – which happens shortly after 2.

what could it be?

My first sweep of things – too much to see & not enough $ – find the dvd stall & pick up some Tartan Asia Extreme: The Red Shoes; Pray; R-Point. search for American Vampire 3, find it; pick up some Archie comics !! Archie’s Pal Kevin (the gay guy) hardcover & also special convention printing of the gay wedding issue. Picked up dirt cheap Lord of the Rings action figure. Exit Expo at 3 – 4 hours of walking & mainly standing more than enough work for me.

August 23-26 – attending: Fan Expo Canada

August 28, Tuesday – attending: Elektra

September 11, Tuesday – attending: Hedda Gabbler

September 13, Thursday – attending: The Beautiful and the Damned

October 11, Thursday – Go Bump feature The Beautiful and The Damned

October 28, Saturday – attending 2012 Toronto SpecFic Colloquium

writing sample

writing sample

*The Mystery*

A man on his knees

on a downtown sidewalk

just out of the way

yet where he could be seen

prays

mutters words of supplication

eyes open

looks out from himself

into the world around him

on the next street three women

on their knees pray

people in restaurants

slide to their knees

poets in coffee shops

after getting their double double

kneel

whisper prayers

in different words

in different languages

call to different entities

they are unafraid

of being seen as ones

who are willing to pray

when the feeling comes upon them

pulling over cars to get out

kneeling in buses

in movie theaters

with pop corn and soft drinks

balanced in their hands

reaching out for a moment

feeling the touch of something

sharing the touch of something

those that can’t pray turn away

as if seeing something

that should be done only in private

so as not to remind them

that some people have faith

those that pray often don’t know

what they have faith in

they feel the tickle of it in their blood

savor the taste of it

as they utter sweet words

once they stand

some don’t recall the moment of prayer

they know that even if the pause

can’t change the world

can’t end war in our time

for the moment of prayer

they can be changed

in the chaos

in the peace

in the lives around them

and that’s the mystery

@TorPoet

@TorPoet

Had a good night at Plasticine Poetry Sunday. Sizable house, sold some chap books, signed a couple of them, got cash in hand (which I always declare), had my set recorded by Myke Mazzei for a future cd. Cathy Petch always the perfect host (except when she isn’t there & I end up as the imperfect host).

view of the stage

Heather Wood had the first feature spot. She read a story that will be in ‘The Anthology of Modern Fables’ – a fun piece about a cell-phone with telepathic abilities (I wish I had one with pre-call warning). She then did a stroll through ‘Roll With It’ – following one specific plot thread to it resolution in an Olympic figure skating routine. A well structured set.

my big fat gypsy tee

I was up next with my raunch attack. Pacing is key for me to keep flow of a set natural and to take, I hope, listeners with me. The first few pieces were sort of innocent, early, hunger-for-sex that weren’t overly explicit. Then each piece became more direct, always with a buffer of humor. As expected “my cock is so big/ it gives Freudians nightmares” brought the house down, as did:

“he dropped his pants to release

the creature from the porn lagoon
thicker than the accents
of an entire Brazilian water polo team

Brazilian water polo team

Jeff Cottrill started the second set. We have featured together a few times before – for some reason putting two big, bald, funny guys on stage is hard to resist – but our sense of irony & humor couldn’t be more different. I loved his ‘Love Letter’ – how tell a woman she’s beautiful without objectifying her. It was great to hear his post-modern self-reflective parody ‘Review of this piece.’

Final feature was Carolyn Smart – she did a strong set of new pieces about Bonnie and Clyde. Her writing is simple, direct and emotional. She seems to avoid images that would distract us for the raw emotions and violence of their lives. Sadly her books were scooped away before I could buy one.

The excellent line-up of open stagers that opened and closed the show – including Lizzie Violet, Vanessa McGowen – sets the bar high for us features.

a little writing sample

a little writing sample

That’s So 50 Shades of Gay

(Chapter titles)

gay tripper
gay dream believer
gay by gay

tomorrow is another gay
our gay will come
what a difference a gay makes

our gayly bread

gay of the triffids
the gay after tomorrow

independence gay

give us this gay
the gays of our lives

orange you glad

orange you glad

Am I edgy? At the recent Loyalist workshop, when my piece was being commented on, one of the women started by saying – “knowing Duncan when I saw this was his work I knew I was in for something edgy, out-of-the-box and funny and I was was not disappointed.” This woman later presented a great piece about street people – one dressed in pink tutu with matching feathers in hair, so she knows edgy.

To be honest I don’t think of myself or my writing as edgy. When I think of edgy Electric Jon or Cathy Petch comes to mind – but me, I’m pretty tame, right? Sure when I write about sex I’m direct, fun – often people compliment me on being ‘brave’ – I just don’t get it – I know my audiences pretty well – what I present at the Erotica Writers certainly isn’t what I’d present at a high school poetry class.

shadow of the snake

So I guess writing frankly about sex is edgy? Or is the matter-of-fact way I present these pieces what makes them edgy? I’m thinking – what do I find edgy to write about. One area is race and sex.

Watching a recent spate of Weismuller Tarzan movies on Turner I couldn’t help but notice the amount of nearly naked flesh on screen – particularly the many ‘native’ bearers and tribesmen. I recalled Saturday matinees when I was a kid seeing some of these then and realized that the erotic appeal of black men had started then – now is this a racist memory? Is this dehumanization via a fetish of blackness or just some adolescent male seeing so much man flesh he likes it?

This reaches its apogee with Woody Strode in Spartacus – magnificent – his skin shines like armor in every scene – this movie brings up the another erotic area that caught me growing up – bearded, burly men in skirts. All those sword & sandal pictures: from the Ten Commandments to Hercules in the Underworld (I longed for Hercules out of his underwear).

Loyalist hardcore work

Loyalist hardcore work

I love all those Biblical epics with nearly naked men everywhere, rowing the galleons, training to be gladiators, just hanging around the market place waiting for Jesus (often a bearded hottie with a dozen other yummy bearded men to party with) to show up. When I see these today I am amazed at the amount of male flesh in them and am not surprised at how they informed my adult sex objectifications.

Sure there were pretty women in most these, usually so pure they gave our hero reason to win, or so evil they had to be vanquished. But first they’ll dance for you. Always in definitive period make-up too – eyeliner, eyelashes and blush. Not to mention cleavage that I’m sure required post-dub to removed the echo of any dialogue said near the valley of their ample, yet perky, breasts.

So Hollywood made me the queer I am – is that edgy?

bookshelf – some assembly required

…..

August 9, Thursday – attending: The Beautiful and The Damned

August 17, Friday – attending: Cymbaline

August 19, Sunday – Battle of the Bulge feature: Plasticine Poetry

August 23-26 – attending: Fan Expo Canada

August 28, Tuesday – attending: Elektra

October 11, Thursday – feature The Beautiful and The Damned

October 28, Saturday – attending 2012 Toronto SpecFic Colloquium

……..

writing sample

writing sample

Slap Unhappy

my masochist lover wants to leave

I’m not causing him enough pain

he’s tired of merely being ashamed

of being seen with me in public

he needs more domestic humiliation

I reminded him

it wasn’t my fault he needed an audience

in order to feel the depths of abasement

that got him off

besides I have rotator cuff tears from

spanking him every time

the dishes weren’t cleared away fast enough

testicular torture

aggravates my carpel tunnel syndrome

tennis elbow from fisting

doesn’t get me off at all

the constant stream of abuse

I had to supply him with was so draining

I had no spite left

for people who really deserved it

like that asshole barista

who couldn’t make a latte

without a shake of cinnamon

I told him twice no cinnamon

and when it came with a dash

a sense of futility

flooded me with each sip

of that fucking latte

I had no choice but to go home

and take it out on my masochistic lover

but that wasn’t enough for him

and now my masochistic lover wants

to leave

because I don’t make him suffer enough

he feels I don’t care when I hurt him

that I’m not into the brick-weighted nipple clamps

into the cigar scarification

that I do those things with too much detachment

I ask him why my not caring

doesn’t add to his sense of being abused

isn’t it worse when the abuser

does it out of boredom

and not out of passion

once he packed up his latex

I slapped him goodbye

then shut the door

@TorPoet

@TorPoet

Finally back to my routines after a busy month of travel – east coast, then Belleville – nothing other than a few day trips to Stratford or Niagara-on-the-Lake for now (unless lottery pays off & I’ll be around the world on Crystal Serenity.)

Started my eBook research – studying the smashwords style guide – seems simple enough as long as I can convert pages to word – have to decide what to start with but will test the waters with a short-story collection.

blues without a feeling

blues without a feeling

I’ve been working on my upcoming Plasticine set – some new pieces – this’ll be my annual sex set so be prepared for adult sexual content material. As I did for my recent Art Bar I’ll have a chapette book of the set – “50 Shades of Gay”

On my morning walk Wednesday I headed east to hit the Value Village at Danforth/Woodbine to pick up some white shirts for summer wear – got an excellent Harry Rosen, made in Italy, 100% cotton shirt for $6.99.

front yard corral

On my way back I walked along one of the side streets just north of the danforth – more shade & less traffic. At one corner, sitting in the shade under a tree, was this man playing the violin – too far away from any street to be a busker. I was listening to a Vivaldi violin concerti at that moment – I turned off the iPod to stop and listen to him – I asked if had been playing Bach – in fact he was playing ‘modern’ take on Bach & then he played the 2nd partita for me.

front yard violinist

The perfect sunny day music. We chatted and turns out he was there awaiting his bow string replacement man – sounded fine to me. He sold me a cd, as it turns out, he is a busker. When I got home, washed my shirts, I did a google of him – Ezra Azmon – turns out he he has a bit of reputation. The CD is trios by Bach, Handel & Brahms – sound quality is good – relaxing. As much as I love music I still can’t tell you how well something is played but I assume the playing is excellent.

This, for me, is the ideal Toronto story – I take a street I rarely take, at a time when I’m usually elsewhere, & meet up with someone who just happens to be there, where they rarely are at a time they are usually elsewhere. I get a private concert – only with me standing & he sitting, exchange business cards – so who knows maybe I’ll get him up to the Damned to perform sometime.

…..

August 9, Thursday – attending: The Beautiful and The Damned

August 17, Friday – attending: Cymbaline

August 19, Sunday – Battle of the Bulge feature: Plasticine Poetry

August 23-26 – attending: Fan Expo Canada

October 11, Thursday – feature The Beautiful and The Damned

……..

very rough draft of a recent piece:

“Just Because”

just because I ask

how you are

doesn’t mean I want to fix you

just because you are correct

doesn’t entitle you to anything

knowing the answer

may not be the solution

just because your feelings are hurt

doesn’t change anything

just because someone’s being right

hurts your feelings

doesn’t change things

sparing your feelings isn’t the solution

acting as if everything is fine when it isn’t

isn’t the power of positive thinking

it’s denial

that you might not like being reminded

things aren’t always designed

to suit your particular wants needs and fears

isn‘t the fault of the one who reminds

blame isn’t a solution

this is how it works

sometimes it hurts

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 65 other followers