Archives for category: FanExpo

It’s like you are two different poets! someone said to me after my recent Racket at the Rocket (RR) show – someone who had seen my feature the previous week at Plasticine Poetry (PP) and was eager for more.

bunnythe rabbit’s vigil

Looking back over the two sets I can see what the differences, besides all different pieces & shirts, were. Both sets were themed, with the same number of pieces in each. Paced pretty much the same too. Started with something inviting – no dropping of the pants in the first piece. The built to more explicit things.

doorvigil outside the purple door

PP was focused on identity – a sort of abstract concept that I tried to make real with various personas that showed various ways we define outs elves: Hannibal Hoarder: how we keep what we keep defines us; Godzilla: how movies lead us to self definition. So the material was more clearly theatrical and pushed me to a more theatrical reading.

boots

discorporation: the vigil’s reward

The RR set was romantic, emotional in a different way. The difference between the persona of each piece was much more subtle that the PP set and not as theatrical. I also opted not to perform any of many bitter break-up pieces, some of which were in the chap book, and stayed on the sweeter side of love, just to prove I could be mellow, that I could be sexy without overt queer sexuality.

The other things about the set was that I read a piece I had written that week about a man I’m seeing, who happened to be in the audience for the show. Something I’ve never experienced before. Not that I have to work hard on authentic emotion when I read but this time I didn’t even have to work at all.

soon02

April 21, Monday – featuring – Lizzie Violet’s Poetry Open Mic at The Amsterdam Bicycle Club – 7:30 – doors and open mic sign up, 8:00 – start - 54 The Esplanade, Toronto

amflyerjpg copy

April 27, Sunday, Julie Czerndea Workshop http://chiseries.ticketleap.com/chiseriesworkshop-julie-czerneda/

June 6-8 – attending – Bloody Words

tombstone

June 23-27 – attending – Manuscript to Book – Loyalist Summer Arts – Belleville, Ont https://www.facebook.com/events/589522924455695/

roller hardcore writing meeting at Loyalist

August 28-31 – attending – FanExpo Canada http://www.fanexpocanada.com

 FanExpo 2013

samples

one of newer pieces I read at RR a few weeks ago

Rocket Scientist of Love

I don’t claim to be

a rocket scientist of love

I’m more practiced at

one-man missions

where I can control

the countdown to blast off

but when I have to plot the course

for more passengers than one

I’m never sure

where the booster rockets have to go

when to push the buttons

that will set them off

how much fuel I’m going to need

what sort of pay load

is expected of me

to bring them

to the various stages of thrust

sure I can get them buckled in well enough

the fumbling can be sort of fun

but after that I can get a bit lost

when my solid mass converter

gets ready to let loose its charge

while theirs is still picking up speed

I’m not a rocket scientist of love

any more than I am

the masters & johnsons of sex

but I’m willing to learn

if anyone’s willing to teach

gardening garden store aches for spring

The first CD on my classical shelf, ‘Music in the Age of Elegance’ is another one cobbled together from lp to cd transfers. It’s several pieces for flute and harp – some chamber music and some concerti.

drainthe elegant drain

‘Age’ features Robert Aitken playing pieces by Bach – Bodinus – Telemann – Quantz. I’m usually a fan of orchestra but I do have some chamber music in my collection – this is what people did before there was anything electronic – they meet in rooms and actually played instruments; or watched others play them. The music is slightly fussy but deft.

cd01Classical Shelf #1

To round out the CD I added some Handel: a Harp Concerto, Flute Concerto & a concerto grosso. I didn’t make notes of who these were performed by but I recall they were from MHS lps. Handle was a prodigious composer. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Musical_Heritage_Society

bootcurb your clothes

I can’t speak to the technical ability of classical musicians – thank God or I would probably enjoy less of it. I had friend, at one time, who was a concert pianist who couldn’t abide much of what he heard because he knew too much. The less I know the more I can enjoy.

I can trace my like of harp/flute back to – you guessed it – The Friendly Giant. Yes I know he play the recorder but that still planted the seed. For a sweet jazz flute/harp combo seek out Herbie Mann: Push Push – more about that when we get to M’s in my jazz collection.

soon02

January 30, Thursday – guest spot -The Dildettes, 8 p.m., Buddies in Bad Times, 12 Alexander Street. https://www.facebook.com/events/234979810009039/

February 21, Friday – featuring – Racket at the Rocket: 7 p.m., Red Rocket Cafe, 1364 Danforth Ave. https://www.facebook.com/events/818441091515505/

stsml March 1, Saturday – attending – Toronto SpecFic Colloquium

Email_Header_Image_2014.1aa1067 June 6-8 – attending – Bloody Words

June 23-27 – attending – Manuscript to Book – Loyalist Summer Arts – Belleville https://www.loyalistbanner.com/PROD/cewkcrss.P_IndexPage

August 28-31 – attending – FanExpo Canada

samples

Soul

where to begin

before this moment

before the moment before this moment

hard to know as there

is no starting point

no ending point

like the sky the ocean

where does the Atlantic start

where does it become the Pacific

where does Canada

become USA

there is no

molecular structure alterations

when one name merges into the next

when one moment

becomes the next

when one life

becomes the next

hard to know where to begin

how to tell the difference

the subtle element

that pushes one on

to know where to begin

to know why to begin

and then how

because

there is no where

every where

any where

it becomes all one ocean

all one land

with invisible endless lines

demarking

where some government

deemed one thing becomes another

there was no skin to separate

no substance

hard to know where to end

when I run out of words

run out of steam

feel the seed is enough

that the vision

I hold of the seed

come to flower

is as good

as the actual seed come to flower

as seeds do

as flowers do

a cycle

which is the goal

the seed or the flower

the purpose of one

is all for the other

two ends of

the same ocean

casual empty endless calculations

deep within the seed

deep within the flower

deep with each of us

the hunger

the yearning

to flower

to escape being the seed

the body the seed pod

often not there to see the flower

of the seeds we’ve sown

the soul of discretion

that’s the mind of life

perhaps the flower is the

the memory we leave

when we go into the next phase

when we pass beyond the sea

to become the seed

to exit the skin

for the endless flower

ripple out from that point of time

the ripple spreads like petals

into the next sea

the next land mass

the almost unfathomable

escape of our tiny speck

the trial error that leads

to the moment

when we least expect it

we are merged with that one

shucked from the body pod

to go back into the world

there is no final

there is no place to begin

that’s why it’s so hard to know where to begin

with when I first drew a breath

or when my dad first drew his breath

when the sun first struck

the primordial ooze of the planet

to set of the sparks of being

of life of the oceans

all spiral ripple out

from that moment

to this one

an endless linked sequence

I’d call it a progression

but who know if this is really progress

because it so hard to know where to begin

when

progress has no end

purple

how does your garden grow 

The past few weeks have been productive – the cold weather keeping me in nights has helped some – plus reducing the amount of time I put into reading. Those books, ebooks will get read eventually – what’s the hurry. Reading is a sly way of avoidance as I’m doing research into facets queerdom, identity as well some fiction & even a few literary journals. I have to confess that I’ve let nearly all my lit journal subscriptions expire. They aren’t my market & often don’t speak to my interests – unless someone starts a Ginger Pubes Quarterly.

sweaternice green but needs some ginger

I’ve been clearing the blogged City of Valleys off WordPress – to publish there needs to be no ‘free’ versions of available. While I was doing that I also edited out those lists of my upcoming events – stale is stale. If you missed the show that boat ain’t coming back.

toquegingery rust

I’ve been getting material ready for three upcoming shows, as well. Winter Snow Ball (winter’s no ball); my guest spot at the Dildettes show, and my February feature at Racket at the Rocket. For the Racket show I also designed a flyer – one of my favourite things to do, plus created a Facebook invite for people to rsvp then ignore :-)

baghairy (not ginger) bag

Our Demands is the last in this current little flurry of list poems. In editing it, I did change the time sensitive cultural references to something more recent. I enjoyed the idea of these cold-blooded killers also being sort of whiney cry-babies at the same time; while the authorities are silent and mostly unresponsive.

coming

January 22, Wednesday – featuring – Winter Snow Ball, 7 p.m. – urban gallery, 400 Queen East https://www.facebook.com/events/792356567447501/

snowsmall

January 30, Thursday – guest spot -The Dildettes, 8 p.m., Buddies in Bad Times, 12 Alexander Street. https://www.facebook.com/events/234979810009039/

February 21, Friday – featuring – Racket at the Rocket: 7 p.m., Red Rocket Cafe, 1364 Danforth Ave.

February 21, Friday – featuring – Racket at the Rocket: 7 p.m., Red Rocket Cafe, 1364 Danforth Ave. https://www.facebook.com/events/818441091515505/

stsml

March 1, Saturday – attending – Toronto SpecFic Colloquium

June 6-8 – attending – Bloody Words

June 23-27 – attending – Manuscript to Book – Loyalist Summer Arts – Belleville https://www.loyalistbanner.com/PROD/cewkcrss.P_IndexPage

August 28-31 – attending – FanExpo Canada

samples

Our Demands

1 p.m.

Here is a list of our demands.

You have exactly three hours to fulfill them

two large pepperoni pizza – thin crust

four 2 litre bottles of classic coke

an escort to the airport

where a plane will be waiting

the plane will take us to St Nities

no police will follow

there will be no charges laid against any of our family

we will be given political asylum at St Nities

there will be no reward placed on our heads

if these demands are not met we will start to kill the hostages

after each killing there will be further demands

4 p.m.

your three hours are up

we have killed the first of the hostages

here are are our new demands:

no punishment for killing the first of our hostages

freedom for two of our compadres currently incarcerated

two large pepperoni pizza

four 2 litre bottles of classic coke

bring our families to the Larry King show

send interviewers from CNN to us

give us more press and TV coverage

stop the helicopter’s flying overhead

re-run the Phoebe gives birth episode of Friends at 9

failure to comply will result in the death more of the the hostages

8 p.m.

thank you for the

two large pepperoni pizza

four 2 litre bottles of classic coke

the Larry King show was a lousy Princess Di repeat

you have another hour to comply

we will not speak with Joan Rivers

send credible press & tv representatives

have Obama sign the Kyoto accord

bring back Square Pegs

bring us the latest P Daddy CD & a sound system

stop blaring sirens

don’t think we won’t kill again

take this body

bring us fresh water

how much longer before the plane to St Nities is ready for us

1:00 a.m.

we are running out of patience people

how many of you have to die

before you capitulate to our simple demands

an escort to the airport

where a plane will be waiting

the plane will take us to St Nities

no police will follow

there will be no charges laid against any of our family

we will be given political asylum at St Nities

they will be no reward placed on our heads

a chance to bid farewell to our families on the Ellen Show

a direct phone line to the white house

more will die.

6 a.m.

okay so we’ve killed the last of the forty hostages

the bodies are beginning to stink

if you don’t give us

an escort to the airport

where a plane will be waiting

the plane will take us to St Nities

no police will follow

there will be no charges laid against any of our family

we will be given political asylum at St Nities

there will be no reward placed on our heads

if you don’t comply completely

we will go on a hunger strike

we will kill one another

we are willing to resort

to what it takes

to get the world to listen

we want an Oprah town hall meeting

we want this to be over as much as you do

so please please

give in to our demands

or our blood will be on your hands

 mannthe good went shopping

 First on the pop shelf of my collection we have one of my favorites. ABC: The Lexicon of Love – the original with no extras i.e. endless remixes or demos. The open salvo of horns grabs me every time. This an album that simmer under the bombastic production work of Trevor Horn. I can remember hearing Poison arrow for the first time on the dance floor and was captured by that engineering work. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trevor_Horn

emptyempty reception area

This was one of the first recordings that, for me, elevated disco (or dance music as it being called.) Martin Fry’s vocals were a compelling, if a bit ripe, mix of Brian Ferry, David Bowie with a dash of Spandau Ballet. Lounge glam blasé, it was mope music pitched to make me dance. http://www.abcmartinfry.com/ABC.html

chairempty corridor

I loved the videos – this was when video was killing the radio star (an earlier Trevor Horn hit). If I was watching Much Music I was eager for their over-the-top videos to show up. I always thought it ironic that music pitched to a queer dance audience had videos pitched to straight television viewer. My Lp quickly wore out.

viewempty view

The follow up, Beauty Stab, had moments but they never captured the slick seduction and emotional bombast of the first Lp. Very much a sound of its time it did bring me back to listening to modern pop.

coming

February 21, Friday – featuring – Racket at the Rocket: 7 p.m., Red Rocket Cafe, 1364 Danforth Ave.

March 1, Saturday – attending – Toronto SpecFic Colloquium

June 6-8 – attending – Bloody Words

June 23-27 – attending – Manuscript to Book – Loyalist Summer Arts – Belleville https://www.loyalistbanner.com/PROD/cewkcrss.P_IndexPage

August 28-31 – attending – FanExpo Canada

samples

Lake Pinebow 5

my son my son

my darling son

what have you learned

what has nature shown you

has she given up her secrets

to lead you another step

further along the road to manhood

my son my son

what have you learnt

in the brave air of camp this summer

what have you learnt

father dear

mother dear

many things have been revealed

deeper than I can say

I have come close to the heart of fear

yet not stepped into it’s path

I have seen how nature tempts us

makes herself so pretty and inviting

only to snap your neck

with a flick of paw

or suddenly

hold your tender feet

with the sludge of the lake

to take you deep deep deep

where one can ever return

that is what I have learnt

of the many things

that is the one I hope I never forget

dear mother dear father

my son my son

that is a lesson

well worth the cost

it is one

that has let you move along

to the harsh reality of life

outside these woods

away from this lake

into the virgin territory of the future

we are pleased and honoured

you have survived once again

that you are now ready to face

what must be faced next

and what have you made

dear mother dear father

this is a wallet

folded of fine leather

and stitched by my very own hand

the faces on the front

embossed with all my might

honour my fallen comrades

one who ventured too close

Pinebow Lake late at night

and were whisked beyond our sight

never to be seen

never to be found

without a trace or a clue

I have honoured them with this memento

every time

I reach for money

I will think

of my dear fallen comrades

of the foolish chances they took

and be wary and cautions

as I spend my way into the future

dear son dear son

such a tale you tell

of those who have vanished

we are so grateful it was not you

touched that you chose to recall and remember

and take their deed

as a lesson for yourself

the wood has taught wisdom and prudence

and what else have you made

dear mother dear father

this is an ashtray

made of sausages

bound together with

the finest of maple syrup

fired deep

in the violent heat of the smoke shed

polished and perfect

for you dear father

to keep on your desk

as a reminder of what you have put me through

to make this small token for you

to remind you that this son

has risked life and limb

mind and body

to learn the lessons

to make him fit to follow

in your footsteps

into the dark promise of tomorrow

my son my son

I have no words to thank you

this is more than I expected

a treasure for me always

one no father could deny

one which all father’s will envy

but have you nothing for your mother

dear mother dear father

have no worry there

I have for her this mark

a brand of mother

that as I roll my sleeve you can see

it has been burned into my arm

seared and scorched

the skin smelt of death

for a day or two

but when the scab fell off

I was safe and proud

I have suffered for love

and here is the proof

dear mother

suffered to prove

what no one can prove

that I am ready to be

the man you dream me to be

ready to let go

of those things of the past

to go out of the play room

to leave the toy box behind

and wrestle with the grim patterns

of being an adult

plushiethe Denizen 

What better way to deal with the hot hot hot days that are ending August here in Toronto than some super cool movies starring Tura Satana. Some of you may think I’m stretching things by saying ‘starring’ but trust me even in a bit part Tura is the star.

gone gone boots

gone gone boots

The best parts of the Russ Meyer bio ‘Big Bosoms and Square Jaws’ are the ones dealing with Tura and the filming of Faster Pussycat, which was the first film of her’s I knowingly saw. I had seen Irma la Duce before this but when I recently saw it again I was tickled and thrilled to see Tura in it & re-watched her moments.

But the film of her’s that I most enjoy is The Astro-Zombies. I first saw this when it showed up on late-night TV. The print quality of our VHS recorded version even then was dark & fuzzy but her scenes jumped out clearly. Her dresses, jump suits were perfection. Putting her cigarette out on a captive was sublime  & for weeks after I was asking people I knew ‘Who are you?’ trying the get that weird accent she used. Needless to say I was thrilled to get a decent DVD version of it at Fan Expo a few years ago.

building cleavage

building cleavage

I saw The Doll Squad first at the festival of B-Films – sort of an A-Team made up of tough, pretty, women in fetching cat suits who thwart evil. Tura is part of this team and once again gets the best clothes and the best lines. She get to opportunity to do a bit of emoting as well and that made me wish she’d been given the opportunity to be more than the busty, ultra-tough, pretty butch babe. I picked a DVD of this as Fan Expo – it has some nice extras.

doll squad secret head quarters?

doll squad secret head quarters?

Her films all make use of her ample cleavage and her burlesque skills. Faster Pussycat established her as the iconic girl you don’t want to mess with but sadly no other director was able to develop her or even this bold image of womanhood. Honey West, Mrs. Peel, pale in comparison.

my coming attractions

my coming attractions

tombstone

June 6-8, 2014 – attending – Bloody Words

writing sample

writing sample

Lament for Anna Nicole

in the beginning was the word

and the word was blonde

a blonde who came striding

out of the sweet morning light

assured radiant reaching out

past the flock of photographers

to bring tender mercies to the world

a blond who hid fears frustration

in the twinkling wink of an eye

ready and ripe

to be a distraction for the world

here is the blonde

the unattainable firm force of nature

on every tv magazine cover front page

all pondering the ways and wiles

of the soft hearted blonde

who will be next

who was the last tail twist

in the trail of broken hearts

we follow our noses nailed to her scent

this glowing example

of what the ordinary can rise to

billionaires reality shows

who cares about cancer

when we have the blonde

a rare creature of fine design

who can invade dreams

wrap legs around broken hearts

lead us out of loneliness

by taking on all our loneliness

in a single furtive glance

away from the camera

a single shunning of the lime light

for a moment that blesses us all

the blonde reeling and recoiling

teetering on stilettos

from the press of press

the lurch of bully boy interviewers

who want to expose the gold digger

the drug addled bimbo

to show the world that the blonde

is no saint merely another floozy

chunky top heavy flabby doll

lucky to be in our sanctifying gaze

the blonde gratefully accepts each slight

by each slight she is elevated

what comes next

what can be sacrificed now

there is no reputation left

the first born has been cut down

the blonde has been shuffled off

in a shapeless body bag

leaving the newborn

a wash in a sea of who’s your daddy

our father ?

is this the way the world ends

not with a bang

but a paternity test

bouquet in snow

bouquet in snow

 

http://topoet.tumblr.com/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELqkzPEAdvU&feature=youtu.be

Day two of Expo was fine until the invasion of the baby strollers. It can be hard enough to avoid cosplay swords, capes and gown hems without having to dodge baby carriages at the same time :-) after a stop at Starbucks for a coffee & an oat fudge bar, I arrived by 11. No lineups and great crowd flow. By noon it was getting packed. After a while I couldn’t tell where cosplay ended and street wear began.

live action figures

live action figures

Bought some tee-shirts, added another Archie exclusive to my gallery. Had an ice cream. Took some pics. I like splitting the exhibition areas into two spots – north and south – it did create more space in each. Moving from one to the other was smooth as well. The SportExpo was in the north area as well the autographs. This kept fan line ups from taking over as they did in past years. The walkway to the north also allowed for a fun photo op.

not a plushie

not a plushie

Things to keep in mind – never stop at the top or bottom of an escalator to orient yourself & then get pissed because people bump into you. Sitting alone at a table for 8 doesn’t give you possession of the other seven chairs – don’t get miffed if someone else wants to sit there. Don’t get miffed if you can’t get a clear cosplay photo because the swarms of cell phoners taking pictures too.

Priestley/Cain/Takei

Priestley/Cain/Takei

Much like 2012 I enjoyed my two days at Expo, was glad to get home & take off my shoes. But 2 days is more than enough for me. But I could be talked into another day if anyone’s interested in braving the Sunday crowds.

my coming attractions

my coming attractions

September 3 – Tuesday – attending – School Night!

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September 8 – Sunday – attending – Cabaret Noir

September 18 – Wednesday – attending – Guys and Dolls

September 20 – Friday – attending – Racket at the Rocket

inner space flight

inner space flight

September 25 – Wednesday – attending – Measure For Measure

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September 26 – Thursday – hosting – The Beautiful and The Damned

October 11-13 – attending Gratitude Roundup

June 6-8, 2014 – attending – Bloody Words

writing sample

writing sample

Life Everlasting

death wants to get laid – simple as that

each time someone is willing to comply

they die

so death never gets laid

leaving death unfulfilled

frustration rules each encounter

disappointed by thousands at a time

pleasure is no longer expected

death has a big load to shoot

a geyser a volcano

to make the atomic bomb a firecracker

death’s orgasm will black the sun

cast a shadow over the world

but once he comes he will be gone

that’s right once death gets

that longed craved for satisfaction

he’ll leave us alone

gone – b’bye

there will be no more death

just life everlasting

I am caught on the balance

of doing it for the human race

while knowing it can’t be done

that as willing as I am to

to stroke the engorged member of death

I know that it’ll be my demise

I have no choice

eventually death will give opportunity

for me to do the bump and grind

that gets us both sweating to the point of surrender

but before death can get release

I’ll die

though I could be the one

that makes death come

the odds aren’t in my favor

the invitation into death’s bed

often comes when we least expect it

riding in a car

walking down the stairs

asleep at night

working at keeping our bodies healthy

eating enough anti-free-radicals

that one should be getting younger

not older

all this done

to make us ripe and ready

for that wild date

at least we know

death will bring flowers

plushie?

plushie?

The first ‘real’ day of Fan Expo was exhausting but fun. I say ‘real’ because I did go down the the Convention Centre Tuesday to pick up my pass and get a sense of the disruptions at Union Station. All I can say is that I’m so glad I don’t work downtown or have to spend much time passing through Union Station – such a calming sight for tourists – ‘y’all come back – now get out of the way, eh.’

super size that please

super size that please

Thursday morning I did my Expo check list: cellphone charged, camera charged, kindle charged, iPod charged, back up charger charged, guilty as charged- before heading out for the real deal. Left around 11 hit the Bagel Shop at Union – love their herb garlic cream cheese; and then Tim Ho’s. Arrived at the south entrance by 11:45, joined in already extensive line up. This year I had a small portable folding stool for the long wait & was glad I did. Reading War of Art made passing the time feel productive.

Inched forward till we were finally admitted at 2 – the rest was smooth sailing – direct to the collectable bag & teeshirt pick up. Ooh! Lucky Charms in every bag (wtf) – I suppose to appeal to cereal killers. Took some photos but with so many bags to cart about I didn’t take as many pics as I’d hoped – Day 2.

orange you glad to be here?

orange you glad to be here?

Stuck to the south shopping area for the first day – enough there to drain my wallet a little. Picked up American Vampire 5 – no sign of 4 though. Some Burning Effigy books. some Tartan Asia Extreme DVD’s – one of the main reason I go to Expo is for them. A bunch of free bags – they’ll make annoying christmas gifts.

three thousand bags full

three thousand bags full

By 4 it was time to head home – two hours, well 5 if you include transit & line ups – was more than enough for me. Friday I’ll see what panels I may want to check out, plus more pics, and maybe I’ll break down and buy an action figure :-).

my coming attractions

my coming attractions

August 22-25 – attending – FanExpo 2013

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September 3 – Tuesday – attending – School Night!

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September 8 – Sunday – attending – Cabaret Noir

September 18 – Wednesday – attending – Guys and Dolls

September 20 – Friday – attending – Racket at the Rocket

September 25 – Wednesday – attending – Measure For Measure

BuDaSept

September 26 – Thursday – hosting – The Beautiful and The Damned

image

October 11-13 – attending Gratitude Roundup

tombstone

June 6-8, 2014 – attending – Bloody Words

writing sample

writing sample

On The Road To Hell

the ghost of a chance

threw the ball into my court

not that I was in the playing

I’d cashed in my chips long ago

moved onto greener pastures

didn’t want be on that losing streak

got out of the rough patch

and got on with the job of life

it was high time to leave my dream world

face the cold hard music of the facts

that would creep up on me

I’d be caught napping again

dreaming of a better tomorrow

that  was within my grasp

if only I could pull myself together

if only I could get with the program

then I’d have half a chance

instead of a tinker’s damn

at the chance of a life time

that I was too busy being busy to see

too blinded by the light to recognize

I was being pig headed

I was out in the cold in the waste land

the door slammed in my face

the pole greased for my rapid decent

late for my own funeral

lost in my own dream

going down in flames

face first into the burning bush

into the same old same old jam

oblivious to the obvious

unwilling to accept the facts

taking things on face value

a pickle of a situation

that there was no escape from

no map to the treasure

x marks the spot where

I trip stumbled and landed belly up

flat on my back under the endless sky

with no where else to go but up

yet still sliding down that slippery slope

hell in a hand basket

merely paving the way

with my good intentions

cursing my luck

spitting in the face of good fortune

because I didn’t know any better

never would never will never say never

not willing to get back in the game

I’m no team player

oh no not me not this time

I’ll take a pass

I’ll stick to the sunny side over easy

safe from the storm

fate don’t tempt me now

I’ve gone for that bait once too often

even when I heed the warming

given myself a good talking to

taken every precaution

rinsed twice and spit

I’m still caught off guard

for what was waiting around the corner

when I least expected

where angles fear to tread

where I don’t read between the lines

and right between the eyes

from out of the blue

came that that feather

you could have knocked me over with

I didn’t dodge the bullet this time

I was hit square in the face

by the ghost of a chance

dropping the ball on me

truck of dreams

truck of dreams

I am a Federico Lorca fan, even though I didn’t start to read him till the early 2000’s. I’ve read a collection of his ‘complete’ poetry more than a few times – each time it gets richer & speaks more directly to me & sometimes through me. The Tell-Tale Throat is clearly influenced by my reading of his work.

sweet avon

sweet avon

My poetic influences are all over the map mind you – John Barton to Wordsworth – some more directly obvious – Dylan Thomas; others less so: Ginsburg, TS Eliot, Muriel Rukeyser, Anne Sexton. Poets are always the sum of the voices they have heard, voices that meld and create the distinct voice of the individual poet.

muddy river

muddy river

I can’t say I have a favorite, or even favorite genre though I have paid some attention to gay poets of history: Cafavy, Sappho etc. Less and less does one have to read between the lines – even though the poets often had to hide their orientation between the lines.

dream boats

dream boats

There still seems to be odd tendency to minimize the connection of the sexuality of gay or bi poets to their creativity – while reveling in the connection to hetero sensuality when it is expressed. It’s like a knife to the throat cutting off what the poet wants to say.

my coming attractions

my coming attractions

August 21 – Wednesday – attending – Blithe Spirit

expo

August 22-25 – attending – FanExpo 2013

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September 3 – Tuesday – attending – School Night!

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September 8 – Sunday – attending – Cabaret Noir

September 18 – Wednesday – attending – Guys and Dolls

inner space flight

inner space flight

September 20 – Friday – attending – Racket at the Rocket

September 25 – Wednesday – attending – Measure For Measure

BuDaSept

September 26 – Thursday – hosting – The Beautiful and The Damned

image

October 11-13 – attending Gratitude Roundup

tombstone

June 6-8, 2014 – attending – Bloody Words

writing sample

writing sample

The Tell-Tale Throat

I was dreaming of the river’s tongue

I woke with a dagger in my throat

I felt it sharp    deep

the morning sun reflected

from a ruby in the hilt

my impulse was to pull it out

but I was afraid

would my heart’s breath flood out

so I left it

in the mirror my face was pale

but not as ashen

as the skin around my wound

I showered careful

not to push the dagger deeper

dressed gingerly

let me tell you

it isn’t easy getting things

to slip over a dagger

but I wasn’t going to let

a pain slow me down

people avoided looking

directly at the dagger in my throat

they could tell it was there

my eyes were a dead give away

the pleading hope

that they wouldn’t touch the hilt

the prayer that one of them

might recognize the ruby

and have a way of releasing me

I knew in my heart

that they couldn’t accept what they saw

let alone be willing

to share the burden of this opportunity

sometime the wind wraps its hair

around the hilt of the dagger

to give it a playful tug

that would stop me in my tracks

gasping for air

clutching for something solid

I would hear the chuckle

of the breeze as it let go

whispering it would return

never did it have so much fun

I have to sleep on my back

no rolling over lest I plunge

the dagger right though my neck

the blood’s tear drop ooze

barely stains my sheets

barely discolors my shirt

I no longer dress in white

the contrast of those crimson drops

is too harsh

the only times it become unbearable

is when the playful wind comes along

and when the first shaft of morning sun

hits the ruby while I lie in bed

the rich red light stings my eyes

as I wake from my dream of the river’s tongue

Cape Breton

Cape Breton

Freely offering the audience manual sexual gratification Cathy Petch hosted another wild night at Plasticine Poetry. After a rapid-fire onslaught of open stagers (I got into that initial rush with my shark week piece) we were ready for the first feature.

bench loves bows

bench loves bows

John Oughton (who recently took a picture of me undressing at Lizzie’s birthday) is a poet I’ve never heard before. He read some great short fiction from his recent chap book. One story was of an artist’s dream in which  ‘lonely she sketches a dog’ which comes to life – she wakes to find a broken pencil on the pillow beside her. His fluid writing takes simple, direct images and skews them ever so slightly: ‘she wanted him, but didn’t want to talk to him’ ‘a friend becomes a lover but not yours.’

He was followed by Lizzie Violet, a poet I have heard many times and each time I enjoy her macabre story-telling poetry that takes us into the minds of zombies and vampires and makes those creatures seem probable. I liked her new gypsy pieces – ‘well worn cards of the future’ ‘one kiss, a story begins.’ Her voodoo fascination melds her romantic leanings with her eerie vision ‘a love bound in a red ribbon dipped in blood.’

bench loves chocolate

bench loves chocolate

After the break we were treated to Aisha Sasha John, another poet I’ve never heard before – check out her blog. Her first piece, from Thou, was a stream of conscious monologue that piled details of food, clothes and images into a sense of a person lost in minutia hoping the things will add up to a conclusion ‘all these conversations with these various yous’ ‘the color of the sky slaps me in a sexual way.’ Even though the lights weren’t dimmed she ‘put out her best for us.’

bench loves hoo

bench loves hoo

Final feature was Regie Cabico, whom I heard this past January at the Damned and was happy to have another opportunity hear him. He did a dynamic set of short comic pieces, slipping into stand up, then into a long refection on his Filipino family and childhood in Baltimore. He tackles sex directly yet playfully: ‘your fucking is foreshadowing.’ And takes a potent stand on race and sex in the gay world: ‘I am not a teriyaki toy.’

my coming attractions

my coming attractions

 

tombstone

June 6-8, 2014 – attending – Bloody Words

writing sample

writing sample

The piece I read at Plasticine:

Thirteen Ways of Looking At Escape

1/ I want to leave this island

but can’t swim

don’t want to cast my blood on water

the drops attract sharks

2/     to escape

first you have to have

something      to escape from

3/ have a clear definition

of what you are escaping

if you are at all ambiguous

you will remain a captive

4/ you must leave

if you do not leave

it is not escape

5/ take nothing

you must leave everything behind

travel light

6/ remember when you are escaping

part of you is left behind

do not go back for it

it is gone forever

it is the cost of freedom

7/ leaving where you are

for where you once were

is not escape

it is another trap

8/don’t worry about the needs of others

they will hold you back

to become your new captors

just get the fuck out of there

9/ do not have a place to escape to

it will become another captor

10/ you must be willing to flee

without direction

your purpose is to be free

that is enough

11/ when you go

have no pity

for your captor

12/ do not carry memory

let others remember you

so they become

captive

of that memory

while you are without history

a gull swooping over clear blue seas

13/ sharks have no memory

their brains are so small

they don’t even know they are sharks

they have escaped self-definition

something you can never do

tea time submarine

tea time submarine

Some lists that are by no means complete:

Albums/cds that make me feel like I’ve dropped acid: Santana: Abraxas; The Rolling Stones: Satanic Majesty Requests; Beethoven: Piano Concert #4; Gershwin: Rhapsody in Blue; Weather Report: Mysterious Traveller; Pink Floyd: Umma Gumma.

they love their tree

they love their t(ree)v

Movie/TV soundtracks I love: Papillion; Beyond The Valley of The Dolls; Liquid Sky; The Sorcerer; Mon Oncle; Twin Peaks.

Movies that transport me: McCabe and Mrs. Miller; Amarcord; Fellini’s Satyricon; Dark City; Barbarella (also a great soundtrack); VonTrier’s The Kingdom; Inception.

back alley lovin'

back alley lovin’

Old TV shows I loved: Perry Mason; Twin Peaks; Peyton Place; American Horror Show; French & Saunders; AbFab.

Writers I always enjoy reading: Emile Zola; Allan Ginsberg; Charles Dickens; Dylan Thomas; Renaldo Arenas.

out standing in its field

out standing in its field

Female vocalists I love: Patti Smith; Grace Slick; Pink; Blossom Dearie; Mireille Mattieu; Marianne Faithful.

my coming attractions

my coming attractions

August 18 – Sunday – attending – Plasticine Poetry

August 21 – Wednesday – attending – Blithe Spirit

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August 22-25 – attending – FanExpo 2013

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September 8 – Sunday – attending – Cabaret Noir

September 18 – Wednesday – attending – Guys and Dolls

September 25 – Wednesday – attending – Measure For Measure

Hedy LeMarr

Hedy LeMarr

September 26 – Thursday – hosting – The Beautiful and The Damned

image

October 11-13 – attending Gratitude Roundup

tombstone

June 6-8, 2014 – attending – Bloody Words

writing sample

writing sample

the other piece I read at the recent Cabaret Noir

Use Other Door

I’m not talking to you

nothing personal

but it seems

you only want to hear what you want to hear

so I guess

you aren’t that different from me

seeing the world from one view point

not willing to accept that

when a sign says

use other door

it doesn’t apply to you

but only other people

 

so I’m not talking to you

I’m not going to tell

you which door to use

you’ll have to figure that out for yourself

eventually you’ll find the right door

to get the hell out of here

and leave me alone

heal me

heal me

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