Better Way of Killing

Strong Enough is one of the new pieces at read at the recent Noir. Part of the idea came from one of the most frequent errors, over-sights, I see in films, TV & even in books I read. The notion that hurting someone is so physically easy. If people punched as hard as they appear to do in films they would be breaking bones in their hands, noses would be bloodied & not stop bleeding so quickly. The hand strength it takes to choke someone is considerable.

the better way
the better way

Almost every gun has a recoil, one that if you’re not used to, can knock you flat & even when you are used to it there has to be foot stability. Myth Busters has done episodes exposing the myths of gun play. It is nearly impossible to shoot while jumping horizontally through the air.

dark at the top of the stairs
dark at the top of the stairs

As for the knife – human’s aren’t as penetrable as a bowl of jello. Skin has more resistance than butter. Surface wounding is simple enough but deeper requires effort. To get through the ribs to the heart take surgical skill and aim.

fly me to the room
fly me to the room

So with all that in mind I started in on Strong Enough – taking on the amiable persona of this slightly ‘dark’ character – the sort of person, who if they were a burglar might sue you if he fell down your stairs while breaking into your house. I try to maintain a tone of innocence – nearly playful – in which the reader/listener has sympathy for ‘I’ – then catch them off guard with a quick twist of the knife.


samples Strong Enough

I have to work on my upper body strength

or find a better way of


movies make stabbing look so easy

poke the knife

in the general direct of your victim

and voila they are dead

a mere quick chop to the stomach

kills in sword and sandal movies

a gentle lunge with the rapier

and you run it through the rib cage

for an instant death blow

but fuck

it takes more upper body strength than I expected

I don’t want to aggravate my carpal tunnel syndrome

I need a keener edge

something that’ll slip through the ribs

direct to the heart

because I hate ragged gasp of air

when a throat is slashed

even that takes more strength

than slitting open an envelope

all the skin and cartilage

too much resistance

I see why guns became so popular

because the machete is so heavy

you can dislocate a shoulder

if you don’t wield it properly

same with the axe    the meat cleaver

if they too light weight or cheap

the handle snaps off

what a bummer

to have it stuck in your skull

and now not have the strength to pull it out

yeah I’m going to have to get back to the gym

clearly too gay for the Russian Olympics
clearly too gay for the Russian Olympics

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One thought on “Better Way of Killing

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