Decking the Halls

shelf01shelflessness 

Besides recovering from NaNo, finding the right shirt for my Noir feature and putting on extra layers for the cold, I’ve been decking the halls of my house for the festive season. First up were the Christmas lights – around windows & doors plus some on our back steps. In fact those go up first – Who sees them? I do when I look out at night & early in the morning. I guess the neighbours across the lane way as well. But they are my favourites & often stay up till valentine’s to dispel the gloom of winter 🙂

shelf02shelf supporting

I’m one of those who enjoys the season, sure I get tired of the music, the endless sales but such is life. I have the lights and tinsel to revel in. I love it that straight families do things to their homes that would make a drag queen blush.

offshelfoff the shelf

I really love the lights anywhere, everywhere; street level windows or forty floor balconies. They are the one gift people give without thinking. Anyone looking can enjoy them. There isn’t someone watching to see who is looking & turning them off if they disapprove. When I look I don’t care who put them. Freely given and happily accepted.

coming 

Dec 8 – Sunday – Featuring – Festive Trash at Cabaret Noir

cnsplash

Dec 26 – Thursday – hosting – The Beautiful & The Damned

smlbx

June 6-8, 2014 – attending – Bloody Words

samples

digging in the archives I found a piece about decking the body

Guardian

my looks stand guardian

on how I am perceived

stand in the way as barrier

against std

against the heartbreak

of being used and cast aside

my looks

if I could cast them out

no

rather if I could recast them

less paunch

more abs

well that seems to be the only change

no wait

there’s that intense look

that gives me

a serious  scary appearance

that needs to be worked on

but not sure what work

so spirits

allow what looks I have

to be the attractor

not the detractor

let this package

have a longer shelf life

let me find

the ones who desire

the contents

desire to merge with the contents

I know my looks

that stand guardian

cannot be altered

the culture will not be changed

for me

for nature has a reason

the right face

the wide hips

each little bit in the odd puzzle

of the perpetuation of the species

and even when

it is same sex

the same small cues apply

for what we seek

what we mate with

for even a few hours

I live with that

and try to break it down

try to break out of it

but cannot

for those same hidden cues

are also within me

as much as I pretend

to be other wise

though

my cues aren’t standard

they are buried in there all the same

the right face

the right hands even

one can undo the other

the moment of opportunity

can over ride

a life time of idealization

and time after time

it happens

I dream about the the right cologne

the one with the pheromone

that acts on others

that’ll make them respond

without the right visual cues

the right pitch of

vanilla and strawberry liquorice

good enough to eat

one has to be where one can be smelt

coffee shop?  disco floor?

so even when the right combo of scents

denim   leather

have been prepared and applied

there’s always the other factors

that take over

the bad lighting  the loud music

the disinfectant from the urinal

now there’s a smell that reaches out

beyond it ceramic bounds

takes over   takes the allure

away from nearly anything

the opportunity

isn’t enough anymore

and I know every time

I find myself  the next day

wondering  how it is

I’ve done all the right moves

been present  open   aware

that I have came back to here

the lone

but not lonely

the singular

in front of the mirror

where I see

the reflection of my looks

that remain guardian of the heart

fountainfountain of delight – Danforth & Logan Dec 2010

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