One of the pieces I read on Monday night I first included in a blog post here: Brain Rental http://wp.me/p1RtxU-Hj. It has been edited several times as I’ve performed it a few times. Someone asked me how my editing process works. So I’ll try to explain some of it here. The most recent version is after My Coming Attractions.
Practicality to be supreme. Choices to be made.
Bradbury – (this was working title, taken from what I thought the Viral prompt was. When I first wrote it, by hand, I made a note to add some Spanish & when I did that the new title presented itself)
he held
the palm of my hand open
traced a line
with his untattooed index finger (untattooed gives a sense that the rest of the body may be tattooed. This is a reference to Bradbury’s ‘Illustrated Man’ – in which each tattoo tells a story to the people looking at them.)
his touch light
tickled
my fingers began to curl
as did my toes
the hair stood up on the back of neck
as if he had caressed me there (‘there’ cut as we know where)
he pushed my fingers back
looked me in the eye
you have a wet life line
wet is good
you live in a world of rain (a reference to one of the stories in The Illustrated Man)
puedes verlo
he slipped into his native tongue
can you see it (no Spanish in the very first draft – picked some very simple phrases – Why Spanish? Ask mi tesoro if you ever get to meet him 🙂 )
his eyes held mine
they were the blue of a seaside sky
over a lawn being mowed (changed these lines to make them more surreal, romanic & also truer to mi tesoro – who had told me how much he enjoyed swimming at sunset as a child)
he leaned closer
his lips brushing mine
he smelled of
a freshly sanded maple toy box
and New year’s Day (tweaked these some from written version to add a more surreal dream feeling)
I like this wetness I witness
quieres saber más
do you want to know more (thanks to Google translate for my okay Spanish)
he leaned back
raised the palm of my hand
to his mouth his lips (changed to logical sequence)
he bit the flesh below my thumb
then looked to me
what do you see
the spirit in search of experience
I see rain
I walk naked in its warmth
the ground is rough
the grass is green (changes here for consistency – brought the image back to the sunset beach)
yes yes he said
I want to be in you
in your wet
he folded my hand
and let rest on the table (fixed grammar here)
you like your future
Le gusta su futuro
seems to me
you read your own future
in the palm of my hand
he smiled wide
then showered me
with his happy laughter
sexo en grupo
The poem is a mix of many moments – some from a dream – some from actual things mi tesoro has said to me – he has never read my palm, nor, as far as I know, reads the future either. The Spanish is also a nod to one of my dead muses – Lorca.
Native Tongue
he held
the palm of my hand open
traced a line
with his untattooed index finger
his touch light
tickled
my fingers began to curl
as did my toes
the hair stood up on the back of neck
as if he had caressed me
he pushed my fingers back
looked me in the eye
you have a wet life line
wet is good
you live in a world of rain
puedes verlo
he slipped into his native tongue
can you see it
his eyes held mine
they were the shadow brown
of a seaside sunset
he leaned closer
his lips brushing mine
he smelled of
a freshly sanded maple toy box
and New Year’s Day
I like this wetness I witness
quieres saber más
do you want to know more
he leaned back
raised the palm of my hand
to his lips his mouth
bit the flesh below my thumb
then looked to me
what do you see
I see rain
I walk naked in its warmth
the sand is smooth
yes yes he said
I want to be in you
in your wet
he folded my hand
and let it rest on the table
you like your future
Le gusta su futuro
seems to me
you read your own future
in the palm of my hand
he smiled wide
then showered me
with his happy laughter
Le gusta su futuro
Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblr
very sensual