.5 + 7 = ?

In a recent post on one of the blogs I follow, The Howling Fantogs, there is a discussion of age, sex and relationships in our altruistic, all-inclusive GQLBiTXYZ community. I found myself agreeing with much of what Fantog and various commenters have to say – that age isn’t always relevant to the success of a relationship. If it’s going to work it will.

drawers who wants to get into these old drawers

The age formula (half your age plus seven) talked about is one I’ve come across before. Interesting in theory but in practice seems arbitrary and unrealistic. I have spent some time, in the past, not nearly much now, on various gay ‘dating’ sites & the majority of gay guys, regardless of their age, want under 30. If you are over 50, meeting guys your own age or under 50 isn’t easy unless you are ‘well-hung only’ – though I suppose that rule comes into play for any age 🙂

balls who wants big balls of fun

When, like I am, you are over 50 & average sized, most guys simply aren’t interested – even less when you don’t p&p, don’t live within 5 minutes of a downtown coffee shop or aren’t willing to do anything (or pay) to experience the gracious pleasure of their touch. I didn’t mean to get off on a rant about ageism 🙂

I suspect what people are looking for is a formula that means a lasting relationship – because only a lasting relationship is of value. I thinks it’s a sad reflection on our queer culture that our self-worth gets so tied into making relationships last.

pillow cold pillow colder heart

I know age plays a part in compatibility but not as much as social context, life experience & shared interests. There’s always sexual chemistry too. I’ve had great, intense relationship with men half my age, even younger than that too.

Of course if they don’t get this poetry thing it’s not going to work regardless of the formula.

Interesting article: http://www.gayguys.com/2014/08/young-gay-guys-becoming-attraction-older-men/


November 1-30 – participating – NaNoWriMo 2014 – http://nanowrimo.org


see you in December 🙂


Taking it Personal

I try not to take the personals personally

what they want

is a little sliver of perfection

to control

to hold

in an unalterable limbo

where the moment

there is a disagreement over anything

out you go

betrayal takes hold

bitterness sets in

so that they become

even more precise in what they want

as those parameters get smaller

the pool of possibility gets shallower

and they aren’t looking for anyone shallow

you must be complex

have a sense of humor a job

go to a gym

or at least have a big dick

even the most sincere

let that magic wand

wave away the deeply needed

personal attributes they are seeking

when they are talking long term

they mean only as long

as you are obedient

as long as you fulfill certain

fantasy requirements

until someone with more $

or a bigger dick comes along

I try not to take the personals personally

often they don’t want to take you personally

they just want some attention

when I meet someone

and they are none of the things they are looking for

I wonder if they read the ad they wrote

wonder if they know what they want

because even when I am

exactly what they are looking for

I’m not

I try not to take the personals personally

and so far have succeeded

never met the wrong guy that way

never met the right guy that way

not looking for perfection

certainly opens the field

though I don’t waste my time

with those looking for perfection

I know they are only seeking

the safety of the impossible

heart love a la crock

One thought on “.5 + 7 = ?

  1. I love your take on this. I don’t know where I heard of this formula. It kind of works, but only really as a template. If an older guy into younger guys and vice versa meet, then absolutely why not. From a personal point of view it works. My partner is of similar age to me. I think if I were ever to find myself on my own again, I would probably go for the same age group. But as long as it’s all between consenting adults, then anything goes really.

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