Consensual Sex

When I say to sex what am I saying yes to? How much do I personally negotiate before I say yes? Being over 50 I don’t have to worry too much about that, but just because I am over 50 doesn’t mean I’m willing to what I don’t to do, to just get sex, either.

pinkballoonsballoon picnic

The on-going Ghomeshi stuff – I say ‘stuff’ because it’s more than an incident or situation – has focused attention on the nature of consent. Having some experience in the BDSM community, which he claims to be a part of, it’s clear he’s a idiot. I also know that practitioners know the different levels of play with someone for the first time & someone for the tenth time. For them the intricacies of play are as important as the flow of control and power.

What I’ve read of Ghomeshi he was more into the power and control & his own enjoyment. But even in the ‘community’ there is need to escalate to more intense play – one doesn’t stay at simple nipple clamps for long. For myself I was too lazy to continue. If I, or someone I chose to play with, needs, too much ‘apparatus’ then I’m not interested. If my natural equipment isn’t enough, such is life.

balloonspink runaway balloons

In sex play I’m always clear about what I’m willing to do at any point. By saying ‘no’ to some activities I eliminate a lot of guys who are only looking for one or two things & if you don’t on the first time that’s it for their interest. That’s how the universe protects me from idiots. But a few slip through or feel excuse things are gouging ell they can escalate and I’ll be eager. i.e. just because I nay enjoy his hands on my head during oral sex doesn’t mean I want to be have those same hands squeeze my neck till I gag. (too much information? such is life.)

moon the moon’s a balloon

I realize for women there is a different power negotiation around sex to begin with and that assault is never consensual. It’s clear, though, that Ghomeshi stayed clear of the right Dom Mistress to teach him what consensual really means.



there is no such thing as

consensual sex

the gun of lust at our heads

and the knife of opportunity

at our loins

that hunger needs to be fulfilled

a need that

often gets what it wants

regardless of desire

regardless of the object that fulfills

the momentary need

we aren’t looking for life partners

for soul mates

but prospective genetic matches

for perfect children

for someone to put a roof over our heads

a bed under our backs

for someone

so we can stop looking

in the face of rejections

yes gets said

on the basis of a few photographs

common or uncommon interests

no one over 40 50 60

unless they are

well-preserved fit well-hung rich

you get the picture

then clothes melt off

as part of that pact

not as a part of mating ritual

afraid to say no

after enough yes has been said

afraid to say no

to what one does really want

because it is better than nothing

that’s not consensual

thats the ego

demanding satisfaction

regardless of personal tastes or hopes

lets get it on

get off

then get on with it


Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblr

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.