Obstacle
sometimes I wonder
what stands between me and the spirit
I no longer wonder
what that spirit is
I accept and experience it frequently
I no longer try to confine
define
deify
defy or dictate
what that spirit has to be
no book of rituals
no words passed down
through the mortal fallible hands minds
of men women before me
I am free from all that chatter
about what spirit really means
or if one sect
has exclusive and sole
right to whatever
this spirit is
as if one could
become sole agent
of that powerful all encompassing grace
it would be like
someone licensing the sun
or claim sole property rights to the rain
so that only those
who could read the rain drops
as he read them
would be worthy
would be allowed
to get wet
yet such is the case with the spirit
perhaps that’s what stands
between me and the spirit
sometimes
this sorrow over the way
some exert their puny strangle hold on others
how they purport to have that direct line
that sole and blessed right
to dole out who gets what and when
that only the 144,000
only the never sullied
only the those who tithed constantly
those who never never ever never
whatever they have felt
the rain drops stains have dictated
never to do
I am grateful though
that I don’t sit and burn
that I don’t put my energy into railing
against the powerless
against those whose rain falls
where it chooses
that I don’t have the time or urge to condemn
how some open their umbrellas
while others skip over puddles
and still others remain in the dry
to merely watch the rain
and curse how their day has been ruined
not to have that burn
releases energy for other things
gives me compassion
opens me to enjoy the rain
allows me to move on with a life that
engages the rain
and not forces it to fall when and how I want
I have come to realize
that I will get as wet as the next person
that I will miss the sun on cloudy days
but I do know
the sun is still there
even if I don’t see it
that the rain wouldn’t fall
without that sun
without that cycle
that is a part of the miracle
that to be a part of that miracle
is to be present
to accept
to be grateful
that there is rain
sun
that even the dark cloudy words
of those who choose to condemn
can never stop that sun
even if they can stop my life
even if they choose
to burn up their own joy
in the pursuit of those whose joy
they don’t accept
so in the morning when I wake
I open my window to the world
to the sun of the spirit
to miracle of rain
and am in the cycle of life
covenant of the broken table
This is a semi-successful attempt at dealing with the spiritual. In 12 step recovery the word God gets used often, so often people often see recovery as a Christian construct – to separate spirituality from the church (any church) is a challenge, and event though I do that, there are those to can’t, such is life.
I say semi-successful because I’m never that satisfied with dealing with such abstract issues and end up feeling I’m either too defensive or merely preaching to those who already agree with me. Not that I’m looking to argue theological abstractions with anyone.
ice clip art
Belief and faith often become mushy, new-age concepts in an attempt to seem mundane and acceptable to anyone regardless of their religious upbringing. Mystery, mysticism are illusive and ultimately are meant to be experienced not explained. Even if there is a scientific, molecular explanation for things, that doesn’t change anything.
the days are already slipping by
There are references to various theories, conspiracy and otherwise, ways in which what might be said becomes translated into what someone wants it to mean. Like that game ‘rumour’ where you whisper something to one person who whispers it to the next and so on for ten or people and by the time the person hears it is it nothing like what the first person whispered. What ever the spirit of our universe is, it is more definite than a whisper but there is so much chatter going on we sometimes can’t hear it. But one doesn’t need to hear it to participate in it.
June 3-5 – attending – Capturing Fire – Washington DC
http://www.thedccenter.org/capturingfire/ (2016 details not posted yet)
Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblr
Great poem! 🙂