I did some research on the next sign in Chinese astrology. We’re leaving year of the horse for the year of the sheep – the wooden sheep apparently – the system is too complex to explain here – google will take you there.
Hmmm … year of the sheep – doesn’t sound very butch does it? Seems I’m not the only who thinks that it is year of the ram. I know a ram is a male sheep – but why isn’t it the year of the ewe? How did the gender get decided upon? Gemini – are both twins male? Leo is always a male lion, never a lioness.
For Year of the Horse I came across lots of striking pictures of stallions but none of mares tending colts. That this is the Year of the Ram in the Americanized rendering of Asian systems doesn’t come as a real shock though. Even Post Canada is honouring the Ram.
This is how unobtrusive oppression can be. Do I sound melodramatic? Pedantic? This sort of gender bias makes it so clear to me the things women have to face in such a subtle consistent way. This is how language reinforces roles & stereotypes.
In my own writing about queer life I stopped referring to men as boys, unless I was writing childhood recollections. It wasn’t a big adjustment for me but when I question straight male writers on the use of ‘girl’ as opposed to ‘woman’ they act as if I’m being picky. Sorry but that’s how it is – when a guy writes how much his ‘girl’ turns him on I get a little queasy – not because hetero sex bothers me but sex with children does.
Walk Like a Cisman
don’t waste your time
trying to shame me
with these sociological divisions
the fact that I’m not sexually interested in
is one of those things about me
that I can live with
it’s not meant to marginalize
oppress or judge you or anyone
there’s enough shame to go around
without your need to assign blame and fault
adding to the confusion
to the endlessly split hairs of gender sexuality
body image agism
I thought it was enough
to define myself as gay male
but it seems that isn’t clearly defined enough
there’s a new gender code
cismale
for male born male
who identify as male
to keep the playing filed transparent
I’m a cismale
who finds cismen who like cismen
attractive
my mind isn’t closed to those
outside that general description
but I am not looking there
which makes me into oppressor
just for being me
it’s bad enough I’m one
of those racist assholes
who finds asian man hot
who likes black guys
desi suits me fine too
oh white guys are equally welcome
a bit of body hair is nice
shaved really doesn’t work for me
showered is best
there’s my narrow platform
my limited erotic map
says who?
cis me
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