why didn’t you return my call

you called and I replied

message left in exchange for message left

it’s not that I want to talk to you

but as over is over

I have to explain to you why over is over

to hear some hesitation in your voice

some tone of regret

to be sure that I have reached my target

I don’t want you be getting some weird satisfaction

out of me always calling to leave messages


I don’t give a shit

I don’t want you back in my life

but I have to tell you why

you’ll have listen to me one more time

this relationship isn’t over till I have the last word

then by gones can be fuck you toos

you see what I mean

return this call so we can have completion

e-mail is too impartial  there are no emoticons

for the satisfaction I want to wring from you

as I tell you how I no longer feel


why don’t you call

so we can have those few final words

about why you never returned my calls

even when we were together

or if you did

you did it when it was most convenient for you

fuck how it might be inconvenient for me

to hear your lame excuses

for why you weren’t coming over

for why you said what you said

for why those phone numbers were in your wallet

get back to me because

the healing can’t start

till the wounds have been inflicted


this is my last call

I want you to understand that

you know that don’t you

I’m not gong to sit around waiting

for you to return this call



you have my cell phone number

don’t you


red pipe longing to be laid

This is an older piece, clearly written before texting took over from voicemail. It was one of the first that put me on the map, as it were, with it’s combination of humour, relationship irony, sound effects and snappy ending. Based mainly on the experiences of others except for that first verse In which I did leave a message in exchange for a message – tag you’re it. But my life has always been too shallow for me to get this caught up expectations.

I know the need to get in the last work, a need that I have even seen override a restraining order. The first of this came in a fast rush. Editing was to get the sequence of calls right, so that the emotional investment escalated and as we get a clearer sense of the caller, plus a hint of the called, or is that the callee?


red pipe basking in the sun

These days one doesn’t find phone number stashed in a wallet – but I’ve heard of a ‘lover’ going through their ‘lover’s’ phone records to see who had been called. There’s no escape the savvy hacker stalker.


red pipes and twisted grey areas

I love the emotional reveal of ‘the healing can’t start’, which really shifts our sympathy from the caller to the callee. I wanted the piece to do this, so at first tone feels a bit of sympathetic pity for ‘I’ but by the end one understands why those messages are going unanswered & may never be answered.


March 26 – Thursday 8 pm – Judging – Hot Damn! It’s A Queer Slam – Supermarket – 268 Augusta Ave., Toronto


April 26, 2015 – Sunday – 2-5 – Featuring – The Secret Handshake Gallery – 170 Baldwin Ave., 2nd floor, Toronto.



May 7 – Thursday – 8 pm – Judging – Hot Damn! It’s A Queer Slam Season 1 finals – Buddies in Bad Times Theatre – 12 Alexander St., Toronto –



June 5-7 – attending – Capturing Fire – Washington DC



(2015 registration posted but details not posted yet. I’ve registered already 🙂 )

June 21-26 – attending – Rosemary Aubert’s Workshop: The Novelist’s Selfie – Loyalist – Belleville


Loyalist Workshop is the real deal

page 23 for details next page down for registration info


June 27, Saturday – 7:00-  Feature: Hot Summer Nights at Hirut, Hirut Restaurant, 2050 Danforth Ave., Toronto


September 3-6 – attending – Fan Expo



October 18, Sunday – feature: Cabaret Noir: Inner Child Sacrifice




Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblr



One thought on “*Beep*

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