Boyfriend
I’m so excited
I have a new boy friend
he’s barely fifteen
years younger than me
<>
did that pause catch you off guard
were you sure I was going to say
he was only fifteen years old
<>
was it hard enough to think of a man
having a boyfriend at all
then add to it the shudder that it was
an innocent emotionally underdeveloped
fifteen year old child
<>
though I can remember me at fifteen
jacking off to visions of rock star cock
Jimi Hendrix Bruce Springsteen
that I wished there in my bed
<>
telling you too much am I
get used to it
I’ve heard enough straight poets go on
sparing no intimate details
about blissful raspberry nipples
moist peach fuzzed mounds
so I’ll talk about man on man action
even if it makes some of you restless
a bit bored a bit threatened
girl on girl would make you more comfortable
<>
I usually try to make the nestling
of men’s bodies into each other
sound sort of sweet and tender
pulling myself away
from the gasp grasp of sweat pubic hair
<>
so I’m excited
about my new boyfriend
though I hate boyfriend
boy carries that too young taint
man friend isn’t close
lover is more complex than it is at this point
bed buddy yeah I like that
<>
I have a new bed buddy
he’s nearly fifteen
years younger than me
This month I am looking at some of the pieces I may be reading as part of Born To Be Blown. All pieces deal with music I grew up with from Mario Lanza to the Blues Magoos. Boyfriend presents the context of much of it. I’ve written before about the lack of openly queer role models I grew up and this touches on that a little. There’s also this sense of having no guidance at all other that straight poets.
I like the little ‘fooled you’ about sex and age at the start of the piece. It’s fun to perform with an actual pause with a big foolish grin to let minds jump to fifteen years old so I can catch them in mid-judgement of me. It plays into the illusion that all queers are pedophiles. Even at fifteen I wasn’t that attracted to boys my age. There is math teacher I’ve written about though.
Some of my musical hotties get name checked – only two as that list could go on & on. I certainly remember scouring lp’s covers pics for any hint of what might be in to r’n’r jeans. John Lennon was the only one who ever gave us the goods.
It moves into ‘present’ time with talk about self-censoring when I first starting hitting open stages, being shy about being too out, even been criticized for being too out in fact a male poet who were very explicit about his heterosex longings. I’m not sure where the ‘raspberry nipples’ came from.
At one time I did make an effort to present man on man without naming body parts but that got to be too phobic and I’m now quite comfortable to call a cock a dick if it fits the piece.
farewell yellow snow
Super introductory poem! Much love and many naked hugs! 🙂
[…] Should I have posted this with a warning? “Contains adult language, nudity & explicit male-on-male sex?” Or was it safe to assume my followers here won’t be surprised or offended by erotica? There was a time when I was less explicit, less in your pants, about sex acts but that self-censorship was shame based. So I stopped. When I was doing spoken-word shows I can remember the shocked reactions to the line in one of my poems ‘new boyfriend only fifteen’ with a pause before ‘years younger than me.’ (Boyfriend – https://topoet.ca/2015/04/01/boyfriend/) […]