#Porn Has Ruined My Sex Life

Porn Has Ruined My Sex Life

he wanted to try

fucking

sprawled over the back of a couch

something he’d seen

in a porn movie

 

when it wasn’t as hot

or as easy as it looked

I had to tell him

porn movies aren’t instructional videos

he looked a bit miffed

as if it was our fault

that neither of us could duplicate

the endurance   flexibility

of those performers

 

I told him

they don’t do single take session

just like real movies

they stop for snacks

to have their testicular make up adjusted

which is even more important

now with everything in HD

 

I showed him one sequence

where the stunt dick steps in

to fuck the stunt ass hole

that the two actors

he had been so intense upon

had been replaced

for those all important close ups

unless between camera set ups

one of them grew a foreskin

and the other had his ass shaved

he wasn’t assuaged

by these revelations

 

once again

porn has ruined my sex life

and my couch

This piece was inspired by exactly what it says – a guy I see wanted to try something he’d seen in a porn & when it didn’t flow as he felt it should he was let down but he was also the one to realize that what happens on screen isn’t reality.

The other facts about what happens on a porn shoot is stuff I’ve picked up from reading blogs by porn actors, & some from personal knowledge. I did watch a porn scene in which the genitalia of the actors changed for close ups.

Some is totally random – testicular make up? Plausible but not practical under the extreme circomestances it would be used. Even though HD has changed porn somewhat, the amateur field has exploded anyway. Seems many find ‘comfort’ in the slightly blurred image – HD is too harsh a reality.

I also notice the music in porn – when I watched it at all & if I watch it with sound. The great guitarist Mike Bloomfield recorded original music for porn late in his career but I haven’t found those released, yet. What I did find was Patrick Cowley’s School Daze: a great collection of early 80’s synthesizer soundtrack stuff. When I hear it on my iPod I feel like I’m walking down the street in a porn movie where a hot shirtless guy washing his car accidentally squirts me. I hope he can afford a new couch.

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holy groped