Best Sex & #DeliciouslyDisabled

Recently read Best Sex Writing of The Year (more here). It is full of excellent, provocative, explicit, informative essays on, of all things, sex. Funny, emotionally resonant, & sometimes hot. When I say ‘emotionally resonant’ I mean exactly that: Joan Price’s ‘Sharing Body Heat’ is a heart breaking essay about love, sex & aging.

Comprehensive without getting bogged down in jargon, judgement or seriousness, each essay opens a new door with a glimpse into sexuality that is refreshing & affirming. The role of skin-color & sneer in Interracial Porn; how to be Celibate !; more than enough to satisfy.


you’ve been full mooned

Jason Armstrong’s (no relation) article about ‘Disability & Sex’ brought back some teenage memories. Dave, a Downs guy in his late teen’s was caught giving another guy a blowjob. It was represented as Dave being taken advantage of but it struck me that maybe he just wanted to have sex. In ‘Best Sex’ these issues are looked at clear-eyed: matters of consent & physical limitations are discussed. Do we ‘deny’ some the opportunity for sex to protect their ‘innocence’ or to maintain our own sense that sex is so shameful they shouldn’t enjoy it.

Here in Toronto there wass the upcoming DeliciouslyDisabled event in August A masquerade-themed, play party that will allow sex and nudity. I’m tempted & conflicted at the same time. For years I had a fantasy of getting it on with Dave but because of the way disability is judged I could never tell if that was because I didn’t think I was worthy of a ‘normal’ man – see already buying in to cultural norms, or if I was just a horny gay guy?



Reading ‘Best’ it came to me that we need a sexual bill of rights. The health benefits of safe, regular sex are statistically proven, & like water is necessary, sex is necessary. Yet so much of the ‘law’ restricts it, hmm, the Americans have ‘the right to bear arms’ why not the ‘the right to bare ass’ ?


brief case with a small package

Jon Pressick did an excellent job editing this collection. His essay on talking sex on the radio is fun & also provocative – the power of language & acceptability & censorship is an endless topic. You can pick up Best Sex anonymously online, or f2f, in Toronto, at Glad Day, or Good For Her, if you aren’t too shy 🙂



sometimes it turns into a trade

this is what I want

this is what it’ll cost

is that the price I’m willing to pay

is the sacrifice going to be worth the result

then it starts to seem so unfair

why can’t I have it my way

is that too much to ask

sure I’m willing to compromise some

but when is enough enough


when can I say no

to what want to say yes to

when I think I’m losing

more of myself

to gain something I think I want

if my conditions

were that unreasonable

I’d understand

but they’re not

I don’t expect anything of others

that I don’t permit of myself

I create no barriers of control

and resist them

when they become the cost of what I want

of what is offered to me

you can this steak

but have to eat it raw   sort of trade off

not a big thing

and I suppose it’s possible


how can I say yes and no at the same time

how will you feel

when I say yes I want what you offer

but not with those conditions

a yes is acceptance without quibbling

or is it the quibbling you want


you’re certainly getting all I can offer of that


November 1 – 30 Participating NaNoWriMo


Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblr


mooned you again 🙂


2 thoughts on “Best Sex & #DeliciouslyDisabled

  1. Thank you for mentioning my essay in your review! I love the Best Sex Writing series (whether I’m in it or not) — such a smart, provocative anthology. I agree that Jon Pressick did an excellent job. “We need a sexual bill of rights” — absolutely!

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