#Slap #Unhappy

Slap Unhappy

my masochist lover wants to leave

I’m not causing him enough pain

he’s tried of merely being ashamed

of being seen with me in public

he needs more domestic humiliation

I reminded him

it wasn’t my fault he needed an audience

in order to feel the depths of abasement

that got him off

 

besides I have rotor cuff tears from

spanking him every time

the dishes weren’t cleared away fast enough

testicular torture

aggravates my Carpel tunnel syndrome

tennis elbow from fisting

doesn’t get me off at all

 

the constant stream of abuse

I had to supply him with was so draining

I had no spite left

for people who really deserved it

like that asshole barrista

who couldn’t make a latte

without a shake of cinnamon

I told him twice no cinnamon

and when it came with a dash

a sense of futility

flooded me with each sip

of that fucking latte

I had no choice but to go home

and take it out on my masochistic lover

but that wasn’t enough for him

 

and now my masochistic lover

wants to leave

because I don’t make him suffer enough

he feels I don’t care when I hurt him

that I’m not really into the brick-weighted

nipple clamps

into the cigar scarification

that I do those things with too much detachment

I ask him why my not caring

doesn’t add to his sense of being abused

isn’t it worse when the abuser

does it out of boredom

and not out of passion

 

once he packed up his latex

I slapped him goodbye

then shut the door

greensink

This is another piece that is great fun to perform. I wrote it for an event celebrating Sex Canada hosted by Jon Pressick when his Oral series was active. The show as at the Gladstone. It was a chance to write for an audience in the know where I did’t have to hold back anything.

Nearly everything I’ve read & heard performed about the s/m scene has been serious – technical or sort of apologetic & cathartic but humour rarely appears. The activities get treated with a reverence that elevates it or as a sort of smutty seedy experience.redclock

The first two lines came to me & after thinking about them for a while the rest of the piece flowed out quickly. In edits I paced it & in later rewrites I was able to expand the activities listed. I also worked on the psychology of s/m & how it plays out in reality with need for an audience.

It becomes a list poem that name checks many of the most well known s/m activities but I then attach real physical results – rotor cuff tears – things that one usually doesn’t think of in relation to sex. I love the Carpel tunnel syndrome moment.blackwire01

Toward the end I get into a list of even more explicit fetish activities. I knew my audience at the time would follow the escalation & when I’ve read it for people ‘not in the know’ the list gets a bit of a shocked reaction. I end with a real look at the power play & expectations of both side of the relationship. In these relationships the power is frequently in the ‘bottom’ the receiver of the attention and the abasements needs to meet aren’t always satisfying to the giver. Of course the slap good bye is the perfect ending when kisses are just too pedestrian.

I have found people into the s/m scene aren’t that open to having their activities treated so lightly. One took me to task for being ‘insulting’ in my approach the deep emotional bonds that are required for  for the trust that makes their interactions spiritually fulfilling. Others have been disappointed when I wasn’t interested in exploring their scene with them any further. blackwire02

The truth is that for me apparatus, emotional & play negotiation are too much work. I’ve had my ‘superficial’ experiences and they have been enough for me. Sex without humour about itself isn’t my scene – but that clown nose is going too far in the opposite direction 🙂soon

March 12, Saturday: attending:

spec2016

Toronto-SpecFic-Colloquium

March 16, Wednesday: judging at Hot Damn! it’s a Queer Slam – featuring The Ragdolls Supermarket Restaurant and Bar 268 Augusta Ave., Toronto, Ontario M5T2L9

hotdamn

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1504753909765085/

June 3-5: attending: Capturing Fire 2016 – The DC Centre – 2000 14th St NW, Suite 105 – Washington, DC

nufire

https://www.facebook.com/capturingfire/

June 11 – attending: The Toronto Poetry Talks – 10 AM – Metro Hall, 55 John Street, Toronto, Ontario M5V 3C6

poetrytalk

https://www.facebook.com/events/147955055574679/

July 4-8: maybe attending: Chasing  your Tale – Loyalist – Belleville

loy16

check 2016 Summer arts: loyalistfocus.com

September 1-4: attending FanExpo 2016expo16

https://www.facebook.com/fanexpocanada/?fref=ts

November 1 – 30 Participating NaNoWriMo

nanobullseye

http://nanowrimo.org/

money

Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington – sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet

wrestwk2

Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblr

iron

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/topoet

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