#DeliciouslyDisabled #Consent

I’ve added podcasts back to my morning walks. At one time I was listening to several but gradually lost interest in them. They were diverting but not always relevant. When Andrew Gurza made his #DeliciouslyDisabled available on iTunes I subscribed. I’ve met him a few times & to be honest have also relished his online profile cock pics.treeart01

He fearlessly tackles complex issues from how gay men project masculinity, to social judgements around dating the disabled – issues that in one way or another run through queer lives regardless of their degree of physical able-ness. He is articulate, direct, funny & sometimes erotic. Anyone who sees his wheel chair as a large sex toy is working the market well 🙂treeart02

The first episode of the second season of his show dealt with consent. Saying yes because one wants to have sex as opposed to saying yes because one has to have sex – agreeing to do things just to be held & touched – things that one may not particularly want to do just to get that physical contact. Communication is his key to this & a sense of self awareness & acceptance that isn’t bound to hunger.pinkhat01

Even as a fully abled gay man I deal with consent, giving it mainly. I have met men who feel that because of my age, or because I’m not as hung as them, I should be grateful to consent to anything they deign to do with me. I recently ended a f.w.b ‘relationship’ that had gone on a year or so because it became more about him getting satisfaction & that was, apparently, to be enough to satisfy me. Consent rescinded by me & he was pretty pissed at me when I wasn’t open to one last time.pinkhat02

The one area of consent with the disabled that he didn’t touch on was the legal aspects. I have read of people being charged with taking undue sexual advantage of a handicapped person, even though that person had consented – the court decided they didn’t have the right to make such a decision for themselves.

I realize the vulnerable need protection but I wonder how abusive it is in assuming that being physically disabled means a person is mentally competent & denying them any sexuality at all, not listening to what they want. Check out the podcast.

samp02

 

Wisdom

if I’m optimistic

I’m delusional

if I’m negative

I’m realistic

if I’m critical

I’m being hard to get along with

if I’m agreeable

I’m a push over

if I’m winning an argument

I’m losing an opportunity

if I tell you

what I know

I’m being a condescending bully

an entitled asshole

if I keep it to myself

I’m a selfish obstructionist prick

if I do well

I’m a show off

who thinks he’s better than everyone else

if I don’t do well

I’m suffering from bad self-image

a self-defeating loser

if I’m neutral

I’m taking the easy way out

if I speak my mind

I’m pushy domineering

if I agree with you

I’m on your side 100%

if I disagree

I’m the one holding you back

if I donate

I’m merely placating my guilt

trying to buy forgiveness

if I don’t extend forgiveness

I’m unreasonable

if I don’t get the picture

then I don’t deserve to be in it

if I’m out of here

I’m leaving you holding the bag

abandoning my responsibilities

if I don’t give a shit

you’ll just have to get over it

soon02

March 12, Saturday: attending:

spec2016

Toronto-SpecFic-Colloquium

March 16, Wednesday: judging at Hot Damn! it’s a Queer Slam – featuring  The Ragdolls Supermarket Restaurant and Bar 268 Augusta Ave., Toronto, Ontario M5T2L9

hotdamn

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1504753909765085/

June 3-5: attending: Capturing Fire 2016 – The DC Centre – 2000 14th St NW, Suite 105 – Washington, DC

nufire

https://www.facebook.com/capturingfire/

June 11 – attending: The Toronto Poetry Talks – 10 AM – Metro Hall, 55 John Street, Toronto, Ontario M5V 3C6

poetrytalk

https://www.facebook.com/events/147955055574679/

July 4-8: attending: Chasing  your Tale – Loyalist – Belleville

loy16

I’ve already registered

https://www.facebook.com/events/1511340829175762/

loyalistfocus.com

September 1-4: attending FanExpo 2016 (I’ve already registered)expo16

https://www.facebook.com/fanexpocanada/?fref=ts

November 1 – 30 Participating NaNoWriMo

nanobullseye

http://nanowrimo.org/

money

Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington – sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet

Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblr

art01

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/topoet

One thought on “#DeliciouslyDisabled #Consent

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