Storyboard Sex

Another thought-provoking episode of Deliciously Disabled dealt with control & story boarding sex. Because of his physical limitations host Andrew Gurza needs to plan his sexual encounters to be sure his partner is ready for dealing with those limitations. He realized that in his focus on getting his fulfillment he had forgotten to include his partner’s fulfillment & was unwilling to allow for any variation from his own story boarding.green01

The quick, spontaneous sex of porn will never be available to him – which may not be such a negative thing. The guys I’ve meet who like that quick thing are rarely satisfied for long & don’t have the inclination to do much more than get their rocks off.green02

So this need to storyboard doesn’t make him that different from many men I’ve met who are so intent on their one favourite act that they discount any others or feel imposed upon when I suggest something. Some respond as if I was judging their way of doing things – how dare I not enjoy what they do as much as they enjoy doing it – it should be enough for me.green03

When Andrew saw how narrow his pleasure focus was he decided to change it. A willingness to be responsive that I find exciting in any man. When I’m asked what do you want me to do, as opposed to what do you want to do me, or told this what we’ll do I’m in much more responsive frame of mind.

This is why I generally avoid guys who say they are total bottoms or total tops – ‘total’ doesn’t leave any room for any mutuality. I’m also a little lazy & I’ve found ‘total’ bottoms take too much work to satisfy; while ‘total’ tops only do the work that gets them off. Leaving me to clean up.redwagon

Don’t get me wrong I’ve enjoyed a few washroom hook ups. Those fast & to the pint encounters can be super hot but I’d prefer slow and frequent, more than objectified body parts interacting.samp01

Love

he spoke sex with his lips

kept love hidden

allowed desire to draw the maps

followed them without direction

yet always with that unspoken

romance hoped for

while sneered at it at the same time

he spoke sex with his lips

delivered on that promise

attracted the same

time after time

men willing to be taken in

unwilling to be more than desired

unless he was willing

to surrender to their love

to their culturally defined

accepted

standardized

justified

limits of what love could would should

mean

no variation was allowed

either love was total surrender

to the control of the other

of each other

or is wasn’t authentic

but merely a shallow physical response

so he spoke affection with his lips

spoke sex

spoke openness and opportunity

stepped away from the standardized

paid the consequence

of their dissatisfaction

with such selfish attitudes

of not wanting to play

the betrayal of the heart game

because he who speaks sex with his lips

is inviting others to betrayal

of their sacred bonds

called a player and cheater

unwilling to make the sacrifice to fidelity

because their fidelity was so fragile

he was a constant threat

and to be honest

he loved being such a threat

money

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One thought on “Storyboard Sex

  1. this post is indicative of why I enjoy reading your work so much – it’s comforting to know I’m not the only one whose had these same issues with sex and relationships. Your honesty and openness is so cool. Your poetry rocks too, but that’s a given ;-).

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