Deliciously DisLogistics

A theme that runs through the Deliciously Disabled podcast is the logistics of having sex with someone disabled. The ‘how to work around’ the physical limitations of one partner can play a big part in anything happening, regardless of the limitation.5park09A fully mobile guy with a bad back always presents the need to ‘work around’, or in my case, knees that aren’t up to a lot of busy pressure – i.e. anything that presses repeatedly on the knee caps stops being fun or comfortable. Some guys will only top or bottom doggy style. Not with my knees.5park10Andrew has learned to negotiate clearly with his partners what he is capable of doing but seems willing to stretch to find out if his physical restrictions aren’t as limiting as he thinks.

Not to minimize physical limitations – which are easily recognized – I often find what I’ll call ‘cultural’ limitations, to be more constrictive. I’ve had guys decline me once they realized I was being honest (well, that can be enough to begin with) when I say no p’n’p (party & play) – the idea of having sex without stimulants as part of things is impossible for them.5park11One guy I met up with at his place was all gung ho until I said no to a drink! He didn’t know what to do with someone who didn’t need a couple of glasses of wine or beers to prime the pump. He didn’t feel comfortable drinking in front me, even though I didn’t care if he did. I was there for fun not to educate anyone of the evils of booze 🙂 I’ve come to see these ‘refusals’ as the universe protecting me, figuratively & literally, from assholes.5park42As clear as Andrew’s disability are I often feel some guys will talk sex but are eager for any excuse not to have sex. The more obvious the ‘obstacle’  the more eager they are to use that as an excuse. They want to be wanted not to be had. samp01

Understanding

I know better

no point is acting as if I didn’t

the work is to act as if I did

to follow directions

seems too complacent mediocre

yeah they work okay

but what’s the point

here’s more to be learned

reinventing the wheel

than being smugly satisfied by

the one the way

that’s always done the job so well

it’ll never roll another way

it’ll never roll out of the way

like the massive wheel of society

the steam roller

pressing the shit out of everyone

the complacent the moderate

the extremes the rebels the controllers

all get crushed under that weight

what we know about weight

what I understand about gravity

won’t change that crush one iota

is there a deeper truth

 

life after crush perhaps

avoiding the crush is unlikely

even making a name for yourself

is a mere impression not a sensation

shakespeare is remembered

but he’s not dining out on his reputation

he’s not getting laid anymore

his bones aren’t sacred relics  yet

he strutted then departed

we each depart

making the most of our time here

as we avoid those who would push

us under the steam roller

judging and accusing

as they expect to be spared

because unlike me

they really do know better

soon02

cover170x170-1on going 🙂 when new podcast are posted:  Deliciously iTunes

April 19: judging: Hot Damn! It’s A Queer Slam Season 2 finale: 8 p.m. : Buddies In Bad Times Theatre – 12 Alexander St., Toronto, Ontario

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Hot Damn!

order tickets now

June 3-5: attending: Capturing Fire 2016 – The DC Centre – 2000 14th St NW, Suite 105 – Washington, DC

nufire

https://www.facebook.com/capturingfire/

June 11 – attending: The Toronto Poetry Talks – 10 AM – Metro Hall, 55 John Street, Toronto, Ontario M5V 3C6

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https://www.facebook.com/events/147955055574679/

September 1-4: attending FanExpo 2016 (I’ve already registered)expo16

https://www.facebook.com/fanexpocanada/?fref=ts

November 1 – 30 Participating NaNoWriMo

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http://nanowrimo.org/

money

Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington – sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet

Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblr

the beaten path?

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