I didnʼt mean to laugh
as your dropped your pants
but after four weeks of email
msn and webcam smiles
long phone calls
finally to meeting face-to-face
to keep from rushing from hi to bed
first at starbucks for latte
again two days later for dinner
followed by drinks in a dark bar
groped delirious in the warm night
we finally had enough trust
to enter your apartment
yours because it was closest
we knew what each was into
plans for the future
expectations of relationships

expectations for this relationship
which we both approached as adults

eager for long term commitments

in the empty elevator to the 19th floor
we two men in our fifties
were like teenage horn dogs
yanking shirts up
pushing one another hard to the wall

falling as the doors unexpectedly opened

we got to your place
giggled wrestling to the couch

in our groping we knew
how solid one anotherʼs engorged members were

members trapped too too long in pants
now we were at this point
after teasing weeks of tentative explorations

when you dropped your pants
I burst into laugher
not at you
no no not at you
but those jokey jockeys
who knew Iʼd get caught short

by your shorts

your identity undone by those undies
I was unaware underwear
could make such a big difference


next time I wonʼt waste four weeks


The vicissitudes of queer dating provides an endless supply of things to write about. Some based on my own experience & some of friends of mine. How to get that balance between eager & finding the ‘right’ guy & or seeming too desperate or too indifferent. The endless struggle. Gay men get accustomed to dropping their pants first before moving on to more personal matters, like what’s your name 🙂

On the web there is that added layer of ‘is this guy the one in the photos’? The want of a serious lasting relationship built on shared values can quickly disappear on the first face to face meeting. Some present well on line, even at first look in the flesh but can turn out to be totally not what you want after all.27stairs09

The not having sex on the first date or two is seen as a sign of real commitment. I’ve done it at times. Made it clear from the start in fact & have never regretted it but in a few cases once sex happened all interest was gone, on both sides.

I hold back some information as the piece unfolds. I keep age back so that the fact the guys are in their fifties remains silent so readers can see these meetings preliminaries as something not attached to age. I’ve tried video chat a few & the pic quality wasn’t worth the effort – if my profile pics aren’t enough: move on. 27stairs02There have never been undies that effected me this way but they are a symbol for that unseen element about a person – a personality quirk or even a physical mannerism that ends things, stuff one doesn’t see right away which is deliberately hidden. Now there have been up upholstery choices that have turned me off from anything further.

As I’ve gotten older I am less inclined to spend a lot of time getting to know before I get to met – I’ve found the more chat they want the less likely it is you’ll ever meet. It is possible to find meaningful relationships on line – I have – but if I’m not looking for one I don’t put up with delay.27stairs06

This is also a great piece to perform. It address dating issues & how what is supposedly is important can lose value so easily. I enjoy the reveal of it as I go through the various layers of getting to the point then finally get to the point. Jokey jockeys is fun to say. Try it.

November 1 – 30 Participating NaNoWriMo




Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington – sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet

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dark at the top of the stairs


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