Slap Unhappy

Slap Unhappy

my masochist lover wants to leave

I’m not causing him enough pain

he’s tired of merely being ashamed

of being seen with me in public

he needs more domestic humiliation

I reminded him

it wasn’t my fault he needed an audience

in order to feel the depths of abasement

that got him off


besides I have rotor cuff tears from

spanking him every time

the dishes weren’t cleared away fast enough

testicular torture

aggravates my Carpel tunnel syndrome

tennis elbow from fisting

doesn’t get me off at all


the constant stream of abuse

I had to supply him with was so draining

I had no spite left

for people who really deserved it

like that asshole barista

who couldn’t make a latte

with a shake of cinnamon

I told him twice cinnamon

and when it came without

a sense of futility

flooded me with each sip

of that fucking latte

I had no choice but to go home

and take it out on my masochistic lover

but that wasn’t enough for him


and now my masochistic lover wants

to leave

because I don’t make him suffer enough

he feels I don’t care when I hurt him

that I’m not really into

the brick-weighted nipple clamps

into the cigar scarification

that I do those things with too much detachment

I ask him why my not caring

doesn’t add to his sense of being abused

isn’t it worse when the abuser

does it out of boredom

and not out of passion


once he packed up his latex

I slapped him goodbye

then shut the door


This is one of the pieces I hope to perform at Capturing Fire this year. There are several open stages during the event. This could fit one of them. It’s an old piece that I rarely perform before hetero  audiences unless I really want to shock them.

I wanted to write a piece about kink that was funny, that was funny without mocking it, judging it or making it seem all that kinky anyway. It is partially inspired by Thomas Leher’s ‘The Masochism Tango.’ The opening lines flowed easily – I know how the power dynamic of s/m works with the bottom’s needs being the controlling factor.


I quickly jump into the practicality of many of the physical interaction than can occur in s/m b/d play.  The use of role-play, the use of ‘excuse’ – dishes cleared away – to start a scene for the lovers. It wasn’t much of a leap to real sports & work injures to relate to sex play. I also wanted the nature of the kink to escalate so readers/listeners had time to adjust to each new level of pain infliction. Spanking is easy to assimilate & is a good starting point before I name check the more ‘complex’ forms of sex play.25sofa01

I leave the physical to return to the mental. Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf is a prime example of mind games that are designed humiliate & subjugate – only Woolf has no real sexual pay-off for the participants. I also reflect a little on the motivation of the top – where does he get his inspiration to keep dishing it out, knowing that if he isn’t fulfilling his partner he’s not doing his duty.

So it ends with the top taking back his power and with another little set of kink play that becomes even more graphic and personal. The slap goodbye occurred me at the same time as the opening lines.


Some people make assumptions about my personal sex life based on this piece and all I can say is -whatever the truth – get over it.


cover170x170-1on going 🙂 when new podcast are posted:  Deliciously iTunes

June 3-5: attending: Capturing Fire 2016newcap

check out these poets from Capturing Fire 2015:

Here’s my DC experience 2015:

November 1 – 30 Participating NaNoWriMo



Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington – sweet,eh?

Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblrwhite sofa

3 thoughts on “Slap Unhappy

  1. Meant to say goodbye slap but WordPress won’t let me edit my comment! Too slap happy with the keyboard!

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