Treasure

Treasure

this is you

you know it’s you

but you don’t want to accept it

believe it is true

this you

my treasure

my walking one and only

well not one and only

but you know what I mean

when I say this is you

the apple of my eye

the polish on my shoe

the drip in my tap

the wharf in my woof

woof woof woof

yeah baby that’s it

 

we both treasure

the woof

don’t we?

 

but the times

you don’t believe it

are the times you worry

you complain

you moan

bitch

toss turn whine sob cajole

and those are the times

I know I can’t tell you enough

you will never feel that truth

till you also feel

that truth about yourself

you have to be your own treasure

something that I can’t do to you

that I can’t create in your mind

that I can only hope

you will find someday

that ability to love yourself

as you know I love you

then you’ll have the treasure eye that I have

 

no map

no compass

no special sunrise

surprise

Christmas morning gift

that I can give you

will give you want you really need

that ability

that acceptance

that you are what I say you are

that you don’t have to prove to the world

that you only have to prove to yourself

 

give me a break

don’t say that

take a hike

don’t be such an asshole

I can hear you so clearly

swearing away at others

and swearing away at yourself

butting your head

against their walls

looking for what can ever come from those walls

proving only that you can butt walls

with the best of them

ending up with a sore head

a heart ache

a tantrum that leaves you breathless

bitter and spoiling for more

spoiling for more

than I’ll give you

because

as you know

I’m not fighting

I don’t put up my dukes

and your blows just pass through me

most of the time

sometimes they tickle

sometimes they just bore

they are so far off the mark

and slowly you swing at me less

swing out at others more

you brag of the latest encounter

while I shake my head

I think of the pointlessness of it all

as you recount your moment of glory

their moment of defeat

and hope you learn

that I won’t love you more

as you butt walls

on account of winning those

pointless little battles

with people

who only want you to shut up

get out of their way

get on with your life

so they can get on with theirs

 

my treasure

my sugar plum

the object of those sweet little names

that cover the anger within you

but which are true

are real

to me

and when you come home

weary from your latest day

of the war of life

I am here with my endearments

my soothing for your brow

our cozy

[for the moment]

little house

the comfortable snug as a bug in a rug

time for your recuperation

for my savouring of

the treasure

you

the treasure

unburied

open

for me to see

15drawers01Treasure is another 1999 piece – this time abut the ‘joys’ of queer relationships – guess what, emotionally they aren’t that different from hetero relationships. Human nature doesn’t change much from genders to sexualities when it comes to intimate interactions.15drawers02Expectations weigh things down, often smothering what ever simple attraction started things out. We all love that ‘apple of my eye’ energy that starts hearts beating until it turns out polish isn’t enough to make things last.15drawers03It’s also an early run at the theme of need – how we define ourself by having our needs fulfilled, by emotional & sexual validation from others – not by just any ‘others’ but that specific ‘apple of our eye.’ If they don’t respond, then clearly we are valueless.

Being told you are attractive by someone you don’t find attractive isn’t good enough – though there was time when I was first coming out when if someone found me attractive then that was enough for me to drop my pants or get into theirs – I needed validation that badly thanks to a culture (at that time) that devalued same sex attraction. I’ve been on both sides of that scenario & neither side is fulfilling in the long run.15drawers04The poem is also about the realization that you can’t love any one enough to heal them of their past, of their insecurities & their own lack of self love.

soon

cover170x170-1on going 🙂 when new podcast are posted:  Deliciously iTunes

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Aug 31-Sept 3: attending FanExpo 2016 (I’ve already registered)

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https://www.facebook.com/fanexpocanada/?fref=ts

November 1 – 30 Participating NaNoWriMo

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http://nanowrimo.org/

6DC0301

June 2-4: attending: Capturing Fire 2017 –

newcap

https://capfireslam.org

check out these poets from Capturing Fire 2015: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx5KD1eDccdjdTdQ28kZRNg

money

Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington – sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet

Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblr

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https://www.tumblr.com/blog/topoet

One thought on “Treasure

  1. Hetero or other, that need for validation can drive one to do things they consciously don’t want to do. I’ve been in those situations a time or two, sigh. But once again, a piece of your writing resonates in my soul. Thank you.

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