It = Self or Pronouning Around

Languages frees and it confines, it is flexible and unyielding. Emojis are replacing words. I’m being asking what pronouns I want to be used when I am introduced at a poetry event. If I chose ‘he’ am I triggering those who find gender specificity oppressive, offensive & restrictive. Will I appear not with it, appear deliberately obstructionist & insensitive.

I am gratified that this asking happens – that more & more the taking for granted of the rigid gender forms are being broken down but our language hasn’t been able to keep up with with. I was told it was okay to refer to someone as ‘a person’ but not as a ‘man’ or ‘woman.’ Person frees them of sexual definition but acknowledges them as human.

Many are opting for the non-specific they, them – even Facebook allows people to chose gender neutral pronouns, at least in North America. As the trans community develops a stronger voice more attention is being focused on the use of language to allow inclusivity, to allow non-specificity as well if the that is what the person wants. I grew up with others questioning my gender & my sexuality. Are you a boy or are you girl? I sported long blond hair in high school & got tormented because of that & my fashion sense. I never doubted that I was male, but it was clear I wasn’t a sporty guy, merely someone who didn’t fit in & didn’t work too hard at it either.

It’s been easy for me to stop genderizing people in conversation, in face-to-face meetings. Personally it makes little difference to me but I respect that gendered language matters to those that feel it confines, assumes things about them that aren’t true.When I decided to brand myself as TOpoet.ca I experienced how unwilling some are to accommodate anything that deviates from the norm. There is this expectation of a ‘real’ name – one host reading from the open stage sign up said to the effect ‘I don’t understand what this name is so I’m skipping it.’ I didn’t get to perform (nor did I ever go back to that series). Some will drop the .ca or use my ‘real’ name as if I hadn’t signed on with my brand. So I know how taxing it can be to change pronouns or to create a non-genderized name & have people balk at using it.If I didn’t think people would feel I was mocking them I would take my personal pronoun a step further. I perform as TOpoet.ca whenever I can get hosts to accept that. I’d like to use ‘it’ as my introductory pronoun. Something that frees me not only of gender but being confined by humaness.