Sex Drivers’ Ed

23redtubes02Andrew Gurza has rebranded himself as Disability After Dark – the thrust of his focus remains the same – to shed light (& clothes) in his exploration of hot sex & disability. After a hiatus in which he moved, reaccessed his goals, his podcast has returned to iTunes with a welcome burst of direct, honest & human commentary.23redstratford01On one he talks about his ‘sex drive’ & comes to the conclusion that often he finds himself using sex to initiate contact, even when he isn’t particularly interested in sex. It’s as if wihtout sexual interest there is no interest. Maybe it isn’t as simplistic as that – there are studies that show attractive people get preferential treatment which is linked, somehow, to propagation of the species – we select to mate with what we find attractive.23redfabric04Some of that is hardwired – what we are attracted to isn’t so hardwired – but that subtext of sexual possibility plays a role in all our interactions. So we unconsciously use that as much as it uses us. So Andrew relying on sex to initiate contact isn’t such an unusual trait.23redtubes03This enters the territory of FWB – friends with benefits – though many claim to want benefits without being friends I’ve never found that satisfying. Friends without benefits I enjoy but benefits without friendliness isn’t for me. Once upon a time I was driven by my sex drive – there was more than one hit-and-run with me behind the wheel or under someone else’s wheels. As I’ve gotten older I’ve become less reckless but still enjoy the ride.samp02

The Escape Plan

there was no one to talk to

no one to trust

bags were packed

the escape plan was ready

the secret was kept

because as long as

the bags were packed

it was bearable

never questioning why

why not just get out

why not tell

why stick around in a situation

where bags must be packed

when an escape plan is needed

where secrets must be kept

putting up with the suspicions

isn’t proof of character

isn’t a demonstration

of the depths of love   commitment

but of a need to suffer

or a need for approval

from someone

who only approves of blind obedience


as long as that secret is kept

like that packed bag

you can relish that isolation

an identity forged by forbearance

of circumstances

‘beyond your control’

so you never need discover

an identity of your own

when its always their fault

you can remain perfect


June 8-9: attending: Capturing Fire 2018 –


check out these poets from Capturing Fire 2015:


Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington – sweet,eh?

Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblrsuit02

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.