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Another of the 48 Laws of Power by Robert Green as a writing prompt.

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Law 38: Think as you like, but behave like others

I didn’t enjoy it

I never have

but so many do

I had to try it

I thought it might be different

with him

when I said yes

lets do it

it was no different

I didn’t enjoy it any more or less

than I ever have

I expected

that if I did it often enough

with the right guy

I’d start to like it

start to see why others did it

but it never got more pleasant

in fact

I began to dread it so much

I stopped doing anything

with anyone

I didn’t explain

apologize

I kept it to myself

it seemed pointless to be contradictory

to have to explain it to anyone

I thought it might be better

with him

it wasn’t

I kept that disappointment to myself

even tired to act as if

it was great

oh baby oh baby

he was fooled

fulfilled

I was happy to make him happy

looking forward to being together

yet dreading it at the same time

going through the motions

for the emotional pay off

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comes a dark rider

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