Gimps on Grindr

On  the new season of Disability After Dark Andrew talks about Gimps on Grinder: some of his on-line cruising experiences. He has had reactions/responses that range from disbelief that anyone disabled has sex drive, to: can you get it up. One man even called him out for having a head/shoulder pic that didn’t show his wheelchair for being dishonest – even though Andrew’s profile clear states he uses one.30reddoors04That last one runs through nearly everyone’s experience on-line cruising – guys who look at your pictures but don’t bother reading your profile for details other than cut, uncut, hung. You know the vital stuff – HIV status, positional preferences, location, drug intake are moot 🙂 30redchair01My profile has those facts up front – particularly location. If they ask that I know they haven’t read my profile. Guys who can’t read don’t interest me. I’m amazed at the number of guy unwilling to go more than two subway stops out of the Village. Ditto for those who are aghast when I say no to poppers, 420 etc. For far too many recreational stimulants & sex go hand on gland. Saying no that is one of way helping the universe keep jerks out of my life.30redpaint02Andrew gets discouraged but persists because he feels there is a need for the disabled queer presence at all areas of gay life. He’s learned not to take things too personally. I’ve learned that some men don’t want sex, they want to be wanted & they are eager for any excuse to blame you for not being the one. Their loss & once again the universe keeps jerks out of my life.30redtube03


Consequence Offence


It was something I wrote?

I’ll have to face the consequences

no I don’t wish I hadn’t said it

not that it was actually me

it was a character

what was true to that character

is not necessarily true to me

as person


some people can’t tell the difference

what can I do

not write from that p.o.v

force every character to reflect

my personal perspective

or do I have to mutter tigger warning

tigger warning

every time I open my mouth

every time I write something


or was it the fact that I might offend them

that offended them

maybe it wasn’t anything I wrote

but my suspicion is

they are too sensitive

too reactionary

and that I was going to go ahead anyway

indifferent to them

was it my arrogance

my willingness to be so cavalier

with their feelings about it

I don’t even know who they are

but clearly they hold a position of power

that’s my regret

to be judged by a stranger

deemed unworthy

not suited to be included

which isn’t fine by me

so it’s not an even playing field

but I’m not a person with power

I can’t be bothered striking back

that would make a bad situation worse


take 2

that you offended me is enough

to ask why

shows how little respect you have

for me

or for anyone else for that matter

no one owes you an explanation

that I am offended

is sufficient for you to be humbled

for you to face the consequences

your lack of awareness of your actions

will be corrected

until they are you will be treated

with distrust

dismay   distaste


those with this lack of

sensitivity to the needs of others

don’t merit anything more

I can’t be bothered beyond this point

in fact you will never know

things have changed between us

I’ll become less communicative

saying nothing’s the only hint I’ll drop

there’ll be no response

to any inquiry

no returned texts

emails will go directly to trash


I will be closed to you

not followed but not unfriended

that takes too much action

there will be no final goodbye

no explanation

because I don’t even want to hear your apology

your rationalization

I’ll sleep well


on going 🙂 when new podcast are posted:  Disability after Dark  iTunes

November 1 – 30 Participating NaNoWriMo




Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington – sweet,eh?

Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblrbluedumpster

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.