Hard On

Hard On

just because

I have a hard on

doesn’t mean I’m horny

it’s not like

we’re in high school

& I can hide it behind my books

or tie a jacket around my waist

yes I do have a hard on

that is an erection

yes it is very hard

like a rock

like a rocket ship

but

you aren’t the landing pad

I’m not interested

I’m not even pretending I am

what more can I say

to convince you

I’m not interested

no I don’t find you repulsive

but it’s not you

that’s making me so hard

when you kiss me

when you pinch my nipples

anyone can do that

and I would get erect

so it has nothing to do with you

you can ignore my hard on

in fact

I wish you would

just take your hands off my balls

stop licking the head of my dick

I’m not interested

I didn’t take my clothes off

for you to give me a blow job

I didn’t

take your clothes off

for that reason either

it was just something to do

honestly

I didn’t come here to have sex with you

that was the last thing on my mind

I’m not having sex with you

to make you fall in love me

I don’t want to be in love

I don’t have the time for that

neither do you

we are adults

we can control ourselves

we can ignore these erections

and get on with our conversation

nice weather isn’t it

One of the creative approaches I take is to state the obvious & push it to the limit. Here with Law 3 I play on the political theory of implausible denial: deny everything even if what you’re denying in as plain as the nose your face. Donald Trump is not racist & if you quote his words that demonstrate he is a racist you are either misunderstanding him or another hater. The marvel of spin is that people will often accept the spin as truth. Here there is no attempt at spin but of denial.

I like dealing with the unreliable narrator – one in which the reader knows the truth that the narrator is trying to cover up – well in this case there nothing being covered up. 🙂 It’s also about the way gay men will have sex but deny it has any emotional subtext. This need to make it seem mechanical – purely physical & nothing more.

I reverse expectations as well – to deny interest as a way of baiting the hook, as it were. Sort of reverse psychology. The mixed message messes up the mind too – the body saying yes, the mouth saying no – & clearly here, neither party is stepping away from the actual contact, is actively pursuing it, acknowledging that it is going on & denying the motivation for acting on it.

Of course that final contradiction about ‘falling love’ is the most telling one – underneath our real sex is hidden the desirers for romance – a switch from the traditional telling them you love them just to fuck them.

November 1 – 30 Participating NaNoWriMo