Accessing Anal

On couple of recent Disability After Dark podcasts Andrew Gurza talks about experiencing sex & the importance of communication. His need to make sure his partners are aware of his limitations is clear but even he finds guys often only hear what they think, not what he says. Telling someone that he isn’t so fragile that they can ‘handle’ him with more than gentle pats can lead to them thinking he’s so demanding it isn’t worth the effort. As a result he’s considering writing a handbook: Accessing Anal.

14-greenboat-01He discussed the fact that he (at least at the time of the podcast) was an anal virgin. His reasons, besides his physical limitations, are pretty much the same as mine were at one time: being clean enough, being relaxed enough, being flexible enough to enjoy it. How to tell your partner how you enjoy it being done without coming off as being a power bottom (or top) dom.

Something I’ve also found is many guys aren’t interested in doing it any way other than the way they want. Often that way was the one they learned from their favourite porn videos. So that if you don’t roughly ram your dick in fast or aren’t loose enough to take it fast then the problem is yours not their manly studliness’s issue. For some ouch is not the safe word but encouragement.

14-greenboat-02As a top or bottom I’m willing to deliver rough play but not willing to experience it. Some men need, enjoy more pressure, abrasive touch than I enjoy. If they really want me to hurt them I’m cool with that but if they really want to hurt me I’m not interested – especially if there’s been no ground work for that sort of play. I met up, only once, with a guy who had to literally feminize his partner: I was given panty hoe & told I would like to wear them, to be his hot slut girl. Wrong.14-greenboat-03He was pissed at my no, why did I bother coming to meet him. I told him if I’d know this was his thing – which is fine – but it wasn’t mine, that if he’d told me before hand I wouldn’t have wasted his time. I didn’t tell him it wasn’t a waste of my time because I enjoyed saying no, more that I would have enjoyed the panty hose.14-greenglass-04I admire Andrew’s directness & it has reinforced & encouraged my own directness. I’ve been told that I am rather intense, even intimidating, because of that – such is life. If a guy can’t handle it, he doesn’t get to handle me either. samp03

Might Clouds of Coulds

you could be right

you might say that

it doesn’t quite suit me

it’s a possibility

sometimes it seems that way

sounds good in theory

can’t say that I have

it’s pointless to disagree

that’s not what I meant

looks can be deceiving

for now

not that I was aware of

give or take

I don’t always enjoy that

maybe another time

I guess it’ll do

don’t get me wrong

it was just a joke

don’t ask me

it’s up to you

things change

I’m really not sure

I can for now

don’t quote me on that

not always

I can’t put it into words

another time perhaps

you picked the wrong day

I never said that

if you say so

not this time

I could be wrongsoon02

 

14257567_1162384753819933_3271661288579707843_o
on going 🙂 when new podcast are posted:  Disability after Dark  iTunes

November 1 – 30 Participating NaNoWriMo

nano_odwv0rd0j91s3yvqto2_540

http://nanowrimo.org/

December – Thursday Dec 1st – Toronto, 8 pm, Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, 12 Alexander St.divine

http://www.queerslam.com/season-3-dates.html

6DC0301

Early 2017:

my first local feature in over a year: location date TBA

it came in

April season 3 FINALS – Friday April 15th Buddies in Bad Times – early show – 7pm startgames

http://www.queerslam.com/season-3-dates.html

June 2-4: attending: Capturing Fire 2017 –

newcap

https://capfireslam.org

check out these poets from Capturing Fire 2015: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx5KD1eDccdjdTdQ28kZRNg

money

Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington – sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet

Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblrmirrorhttps://www.tumblr.com/blog/topoet

2 thoughts on “Accessing Anal

  1. Just nodding my head in agreement and thinking…what is it with these guys who just don’t get that you’re a living, breathing, THINKING, FEELING fellow human with likes, preferences, etc., and not a sex toy to be used in a way that gets them off? Another great post 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s