On a recent Disability After Dark Andrew Gurza talks with Stacie Gravito, an abled, hetero cis-female (fuck when did so many qualifiers become p.c.?), about her sexual attraction to disabled men. Their discussion about attraction to vs fetishization of was frank, intense & at times funny. People pretending to be disabled merely for attention – #cripfish.


Stacie talked about a group she found for disability devotees – people attracted to various disabilities: deaf, ms, etc. It struck me that such a group isn’t too different from a dating site devoted to, say, bears & men who like them the chubbier the better or one for Asians & guys who lust for them.

It lead me to think about the nature of sexual attraction vs. racism, agism. There is a calling out on some sites for allowing men to include things like no fats, fems, Asians etc in their profiles. I’ve been called out for being too old – ironic when I see guys my age with ‘under 40 only’ as what they are seeking.


I think I have a pretty healthy ‘seeking’ but I can’t say that I’m a devotee of one racial type – more of an emotional type. I’ve been with men with various physical, what shall I call them, non-conformist, circumstances: blind, deaf, mobility & even mental illness (at least as defined by our culture). I didn’t seek them out because of these factors & didn’t see any reason to be put off by them either. 

The one ‘factor’ that I might be a devotee of is height. When I look at profiles, men on the street, I’m always drawn to the short ones. But this confession will have to wait until next week. Even with Nanowrimo work I’ll have energy to write about my devotee love of short men.


I’m Committed To You

you could be right

you might say that

it doesn’t quite suit me

it’s a possibility

sometimes it seems that way

sounds good in theory

can’t say that I have

it’s pointless to disagree

that’s not what I meant

looks can be deceiving

for now

not that I was aware of

give or take

I don’t always enjoy that

maybe another time

I guess it’ll do

don’t get me wrong

it was just a joke

don’t ask me

it’s up to you

things change

I’m really not sure

I can for now

don’t quote me on that

not always

I can’t put it into words

another time perhaps

you picked the wrong day

I never said that

if you say so

not this time

I could be wrong


it came in


Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee – sweet,eh?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.