I once had a pair of grease monkey coveralls – a button up the front onesie – tattered, stained, clearly once well-used for what they were intended. I bought them at an Army-Navy surplus store (are those still around?). I wore them when I went out dancing – no glitter for me or snug denims – I wanted, & enjoyed, the image of the grease monkey. I’d wear only a jockstrap underneath & felt very, very sexy.
On a recent Disability After Dark, Andrew Gurza talks about his experience with fashion & dressing for sex appeal – baiting the hook. Like his mobility, his options were limited. What was comfortable was functional not fuckshallwe – dressing for suck sex. He is frustrated in trying to get clothing that make him feel sexy rather than make him feel shapeless in sweats. No one is designing for his market – male or female. I think that would be an amazing Project Runway challenge.
When What Not To Wear was broadcast I was a big fan. They were very articulate about the emotional & psychological power of clothing, on both the wearer & people seeing them. I get a different response when I wear a white shirt than I do do when I wear a paisley shirt. My black leather jacket elicits a different response than my denim. The world is shallow, first impression do count & if one wants a second impression the first should invite it. But when you can’t find clothes beyond the functional it is hard to create that impression.
Andrew found that a leather harness made him feel very sexy & desirable. I’ve seen the photos & he does look hot in it – but my experience with leather is that guys who look good in leathers look good period. Andrew is hot regardless (even in sweats). But the key is how it makes the wearer feel. Because we end up projecting how we feel.
Leathers, though, are also indicators of S/M, B/D sexuality & those attracted to it have that expectation. Andrew is comfortable with that indicator. My experiences dressed in harness, as good as it looked on me, made me opt not to wear it as a fashion accessory – it brings too much subtext to be used as a mere accessory. For the same reason I don’t have handcuffs dangling from a belt loop.
I blogged about my underwear experience – Daily Jocks. Taking the step away from functional & utilitarian to underwear that is clearly sexy, fun & better tailored, has in fact made me feel sexier. Even if I’m the only one who sees it, it changes me. I know the power of the garment. It is for the wearer as much as it is for the viewer. Maybe I should help Andrew pick out some undies? Finding & fitting a pair that could contain his package would be hot.
After The Fallen
I’ve fallen down many times before
I didn’t even notice
until you helped me up
you are so strong
you did that seamlessly
I only had to reach up
not that falling is something I do often
and when I say many times before
I mean this time it came as no surprise
took so effort on my part
I felt like an old hand at it
but your new hand
pulling me to my feet
was worth the effort
was worth looking a tad silly
I sure hope I was elegant
falling with all the grace of death
of a leaf in the wind
landing delicately on the ground
distracted at the moment
by the sheer smoothness of the fall
my descent was casual
didn’t call too much attention to it self
it flew like a dance
with you as the perfect partner
for the swanning gesture
of your effortless lift
me the shooting star
unbroken by its perfect landing
but one thing I have to say is
I did not fall for you
on going 🙂 when new podcast are posted: Disability after Dark iTunes
March 4, Saturday, 8 pm: my first local feature in over two years: Glad Day Books
June 9-10-11: attending: Capturing Fire 2017 – flight & hotel booked already
check out these poets from Capturing Fire 2015 & 2016
August 31-Sept.3 – I have my ticket already
November 1 – 30 Participating NaNoWriMo
Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington – sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet