Table Manners

Table Manners

this is it

if it isn’t what you expect

make the most of what there is

before you make up your mind

before your expectations

keep you from making the most of what is

because what is

will surpass those expectations

your preconceived notions

of what is ideal



needs to be changed

a chance for you

to get free of culture impositions

you’ve adopted without realizing

or rather

that have inculcated themselves in you

when you weren’t thinking

because they fit so readily

into your comfort zone

if you want to grow

you better step out of that zone

stop being so protective

you’ve got nothing to lose

well I guess

you have to lose everything

that holds you back

this is what there is

this is all I’m bringing to this table

take it or leave it

by the way

the table’s mine too

Law 31 was easier than some to work with. This piece came quickly too – a  good sign for me when I piece writes itself. The first few  lines were already in my head and trust flowed fast from there. The p.o.v is pretty consistent but as I read it I also know that we’re often on both sides of this table.

Each party will have their own expectations to deal with & all too often are already set in what they are willing to compromise on. It’s so easy, almost natural to let our own notion of what is best to be the right & only notion we want to listen to. Here I see the need to step back from cultural impositions that often have brought us to decisions based on them, rather than one something we have thought through – this is the basis of entitlement.

In recovery there’s a saying to the effect of when you let go of what you think you want you often get something that’s even better. It’s not so much a matter of giving up hope but loosening ones control of results. There have been times when someone is so determined to get exactly what they expect from that they end up with nothing. As I said last Wednesday – no isn’t saying I’m open for negotiation. I’m not apologizing for not fulfilling someone’s expectations or, ins some cases, not going out of my to do so. Like coffee shops there’s one on the next corner if you don’t like the service in this one 🙂


The ending was a later addition when I was editing this last year. I wanted an ending that was more than just a conclusion but that gave the reader a bit of a smile & a surprise.


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