Sis amplexibus Amor alios mututa memini et amoris in mutationes memini.
May you be embraced by a love beyond recall that alters others
and a love within recall that alters you.
*18 Saturday Night*
Harris sat his dining table with a pad of paper in front of him to write down what had gone on in the last week to see if this would help him make sense of it. There had never been a time in his life when he had felt this much turmoil.
He made four columns on the page. The first was for day of the week, the next for what he could remember had happened, the next for things that he had been told had happen and for which there had been concrete proof and the final one for whatever conclusion he could reach. He’d tackle that last column when he had dealt with the others.
He went back to last Saturday and through the week day by day.
Saturday – worked at Santa’s Sex Toy Shoppe, got a bit drunk at Story, met Frances – was shown proof of this by the police
Sunday – lunch with folks, Dad told me about the curse, which I didn’t believe, back to Story with Trevor, Alex hits on me
Monday – more time in Santa’s Sex Toy Shoppe, lunch with mother, I hear about about her sister Clara – I don’t remember her but mother’s memory is the proof
Tuesday – slogging at dE.tail, go shopping, fall in oranges (forget I meet Gran – proof granddaughter remembers me) – get beat up by Dave and his mother
Wednesday – hospital for fractured ribs – talk to Dad but he’s no help
Thursday – lose a day to pain meds – proof – prescription bottle with two pills remaining in medicine cabinet
Friday – I see the police get proof positive I met Frances (does she remember me?) – deranged mother drops by, more drinks at Story with Trevor and I see Laura – she remembers me but wishes she didn’t, Alex again
Saturday – work in Santa’s Sex Toy Shoppe, get home, Alex calls and when I say ‘no’ I almost have a heart attack (does he almost have one too?) go out for groceries – meet Gran and daughter – home again & get lucky – proof freshly used condom by the bed –
When he was done he read over the list a few times. No revelations came to him except that he had to be more aware of his actions especially when strangers was attracted to him. If not aware at least be more discerning.
He tried to recall a time when a woman had become attracted to him so much that they were persistent even if he wasn’t interested in them. Someone who acted towards him the way he had to Laura in his university days. There was no one.
He leaned back in the chair, clasped his hands behind his head and stretched. The sun skimmed below the horizon. He had missed another sunset. When he first moved in one the best things about his condo was the skyline as the sun set.
“Oh right,” he got up and went out to the balcony. The elf was out there. Was it time to let the creature out of its crate? He got a screw driver out his tool box and quickly took the crate apart.
Before he brought Andy in he took the instructions out of the plastic sack. Inside the booklet was another note addressed to him.
Mrs. Claus here. Andy Humpfun is a prototype. Yes, there is a version of him in the this year’s Sex Toy catalogue but without the features this one has. This one is probably hitting the market next year. Check out the special features and let us know what you think.
If he’s nice we might send you something more naughty.
He scanned the booklet but decided it would be best to learn by using than reading. If he got stuck he could go back to the guide. He wrested Andy into the apartment. The feet were smooth enough to slide easily over the carpet.
Andy could maintain his balance standing but was more stable sitting or on his back. The charger was built into the base and charged though the feet. The charger could be used for cellphones and laptops as well.
Andy wasn’t bathtub safe. He quickly checked the booklet and it confirmed that although most parts of Andy could be washed with warm water and soap he was never to be immersed in water or taken into the shower. Fully charged he was good for up two hours of play.
The ubs portal was in the back of his neck. The cable was fairly long. He would need to be hooked up to the internet to trigger wireless remote mode.
Harris twisted the start nipple. Andy could not be turned on with the remote. The remote would make his head turn, his mouth open, his eyes open and close, then shift to the left or right, his arms move up and down, hands open and close, his knees bend and of course cause him to get an erection. The eyes glinted with such realism they give Harris shivers.
This time he let the erection grow to its full extent till it was poking through the fly of the boxers. The cock felt life-like, too life-like. He pushed it back through the fly and let the boxers drop. In this light it looked human, alive. The heat of the sun had warmed it to the point were the flesh felt alive.
Now to hook him up. Harris plugged Andy into the ubs port.
A web page under the Santa’s Sex Toy Shoppe banner opened up almost immediately.
Andy’s lips began to move. “Thank You Harris for really turning me on.”
Harris sat down dumbfounded.
“Each of us in the plus line …. have been programmed for their unique owner …. if you are not Harris … please go to the web site and enter the correct name by selecting the owner option …. thank you.” The lips stopped. They didn’t quite move with the exact words being said. The voice was adult male.
Harris clicked the online voice options and he could choose from several – male or female. He could have his own voice sampled to make Andy sound like him. Andy was already weird enough without going there.
He sat back staring at the elf. The hands opened and closed. The elf stared back, eyebrows raised slightly as if a waiting a command. The eyes followed him around the room. He used the remote to close them.
“Don’t you want to play with me Harris?” Andy asked.
With a shudder he squeezed the nipple to turn it off. Left it on the pad to fully charge and draped a towel over he head.
In the morning Harris looked out at the rain. A heavy grey torrent that cleared the air. He made a neat pile of the elf’s crate, checking to see if had missed anything, like clothes. All Andy had to wear were his snowflake boxers. Harris put his Robin tee-shirt on it. Seemed appropriate if Andy was to become his little sidekick. The stiff arms held whatever position Harris put them in.
He couldn’t decide where to put Andy. Leaving him on the balcony in the rain seemed like abuse, as did facing it into a corner. Closet was too dark. It wasn’t one of those things you could donate to a toy drive. It ended up against the wall in the corner by the front door, he’d always wanted a hat stand there.
When he left for his parents place the rain was worse. It was cab weather not subway weather. A taxi would mean less time in public, less time in public less opportunity for the curse to strike.
The dash from the taxi and up his parent sidewalk soaked him. His mother was at the door with a towel for him.
“I can put those things in the drier.” She took the towel and gave him one of his old Teenage Ninja Turtles sweat suits. He went to his bedroom. The room never seemed to change. His posters of Superman, Slap Shott, Cyclops and Neo were still on the wall. There were the boxes of comics, in alphabetic then chronolgical order, each in plastic sleeves, still lined up in bookcases along one wall. From The Atom to Zantanna Zatara. Was it time to cash them in?
He tugged on the sweat pants. One thing had changed. He no longer had his teenage waist line.
He tipped one of the comic book boxes and pulled out a random issue. Green Lantern meets Spiderman – one of those special cross-over limited editions. Foes at first they join forces to deal with Goran Gray.
“Your mother wants those wet things.” His Dad called from the bottom of the stairs. “You can look though those old comic books later.”
Harris took his wet jeans and socks and put them in the drier.
Though lunch they made small talk about Harris’s work, his Dad’s work, how Harris was feeling after his day in the hospital.
“Imagine anyone thinking you played a part in her running away.” his mother shook her head.
“How did your picture end up on that woman’s page? Sounds like an invasion of privacy.”
“I wish I knew Dad. The police have cleared me though.” He wanted to tell his Dad about the security footage but not with his mother there. “What I’d like to know is how my picured ended up in the paper. I didn’t witness anything.”
“More waffles?” she asked pushing the plate towards him. “There’s lots.”
“I’m pretty full Mom. thanks. Though I’ll have another of these bratwurst.” He speared one with his fork. “The ones I cook up never taste this good.”
“Oh, you.” she blushed. “I’ll look after the clean up. Why don’t you two go into the living room. There’s brownies out there.”
“He saw them.” his Dad laughed.
“Let’s go up to my room.” Harris suggested, carefully picking up the plate with the pyramid of brownies.
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