Commie Pinko Fag

samprules2

Started a new set of prompts – I love lists of things – this one will prove to be endlessly productive for another couple of years – 227 Rules For Monks. These are from the 30 nissaggiyas – 5  Not to accept a robe from a bhikkhunī who is not a relative.

Commie Pinko Fag

My mother

was sure the RCMP

would take an interest in me

because I had a pen pal

from Czechoslovakia

 

at that time

in Cape Breton

I had pen pals from a round the world

New Zealand Trinidad Uganda

England

but because Czechoslovakia

was a Communist state

my mother was sure

our family would fall under suspicion

that our house would be under surveillance

I thought she was joking

 

I was more interested in the stamps

than I was in the letters

in which my Czech friend talked about

schools music

we exchanged photos

I thought my mother was foolish

the image of a car across the street from our house

with officers watching us

with binoculars

made me laugh

or would they be reading the mail before I got it

I even thought

the non-capitalist nature of communism

made sense

it sounded fair

the red scare

the arms race

struck me then as being

USA protectionism

to preserve their status quo

 

she started a sense of paranoia

that I’ve never fully cast off

her stress on the importance

of not calling attention to one self

to appear bland & non-threatening

in a world in which

calling attention to oneself

was dangerous

it wasn’t as if

my search for worlds outside my own

was designed to call attention to myself

any more than being queer

was a ‘hey look at me’ decision

 

of course my mother grew up in a time

when Communism was a threat

according to the papers

spies where everywhere

and were recruiting

queer teens to undermine

the fabric of civilization

as if being an abomination unto the lord

wasn’t undermining enough

 

I never did adapt to the

cloak of invisibility

there wasn’t one that fit properly

no matter who handed it to me

Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington – sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet

Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblr

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/topoet

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s