Sex Talk

On a recent Disability After Dark, Andrew Gurza talks about after sex self-care. Not the clean up but the emotional resonance – for him sex isn’t as simple as dropping one’s pants so there is more emotional stuff to be dealt with. One of the things he finds helpful is to talk about it with someone – in this case that someone is everyone who listens to his podcasts 🙂


I’m certainly frank in my writing about sex, about sex acts, about the kind of men I like but I have no one person in my life that I talk to about my actual sex life. Even in my blog here I don’t go on much about specific men, or about frequency. In a previous blog I talked about slut shaming. There is that old joke that a slut is anyone getting more sex than you.

There’s also a cultural bias that sex isn’t spiritually fulfilling if you have it with more than the one ideal person. Sleeping around isn’t something nice men who are spiritually sound do or if they do they certainly don’t talk about it or flaunt the fact that they do. Hearing about someone else’s sex life can boring, right, unless it is full of wild kinky stuff – like that weekend they were wrapped in vinyl & handcuffed to a bed in the honeymoon suite at the Ritz Carlton (not my story).

The fact is I do ‘sleep around.’ I see the same guys regularly – some work shifts, some don’t live that near me, some can only escape the spouse every now & then, some don’t want to be overly emotionally involved beyond having great regular sex with someone they enjoy being with.

Most of the sex talk I do hear from other’s is either about the lack of it or the bad experiences. The good we tend to keep to ourselves, maybe as way of not jinxing it 🙂

My Secret Plan

mom always liked him best

dad was always picking on me

I could never get a fair shake

he was always some teacher’s pet

I wasn’t even the class clown

he had lots friends

I had none

even new kids I met

became his friends

too busy to play with me

I was too young

not smart enough

not cute enough

I never played the game

any game

as well as anyone else

I gave up trying

who needs it anyway

too much work


I’ll leave all that to him

it won’t last

it can’t last

I’ll keep up my muttering

I know how to gnaw at that foundation

when he falls

and I know he’ll fall

the way will be clear me

that’s my secret

not needing the friends

to make my way the way he has

they’ll see he’s using them

the teacher will see

my parents will realize

they should have loved me best

by then it’ll be too late

for them

so follow him while you can

his fall

will be my revenge


Chapbooks available:


kiss3on going 🙂 when new podcast are posted:  Disability after Dark  iTunes

June 9-10: attending: Capturing Fire 2017 – flight & hotel booked already

check out these poets from  Capturing Fire 2015 & 2016

August 31-Sept.3 – I have my ticket already


November 1 – 30 Participating NaNoWriMo


Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington – sweet,eh?

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