Acceptable Fit

samprules2

Started a new set of prompts – I love lists of things – this one will prove to be endlessly productive for another couple of years – 227 Rules For Monks. These are from the 30 nissaggiyas. This is #7 Not to ask for more than one upper robe and one lower robe in case of loss of the three robes.

Acceptable Fit

if you don’t ask

you won’t get

no one says no

if you don’t ask

 

I felt

I was never the man

my father expected me to be

I was never the man

I saw on TV

in movies

I would never be up to scratch

I would always be less than

all those guys who were real men

I felt

I would never be a real man

that the sweaty rough-and-tumble garb

of that sort of pride

would never be mine

even if I wore that garb

it would a costume

a disguise

to hide my heart

my butt

not the man I was

someone who strives not to be defined

contained

except by choice

so I lost

the comfort of the acceptable

 

I felt was was never the man

my father wanted me to be

not that he wanted me to be like him

but to be the man he wanted to be

I was never asked

if his expectation was a good fit for me

 

I wasn’t aware

that I could say no

or that once I started to choose

the definitions

that I hoped would suit me

that I’d have to constantly be adjusting

to make the shoulders fit

to make the pants crease properly

but by losing the comfort of the acceptable

I found the ease of being me

Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblr

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/topoet

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