Mixed Opportunity

samprules2

Started a new set of prompts – I love lists of things – this one will prove to be endlessly productive for another couple of years – 227 Rules For Monks. Who knew the simple life could be so complex. These are from the 30 nissaggiyas. This is where number 13 took me: Not to accept a floor carpet that is, for more than half of it, made with black sheep wool and a quarter in white wool.

Mixed Opportunity

 

There are days

when I am more confused

days that start

with me feeling pretty confident

in my worldview

in my opinions about things

often things that have nothing to do with me

things that don’t depend of me

except as a faceless person

 

I’m pretty comfortable in that milieu

having only the weight

of my own thinking to carry

then along comes

someone I know

who challenges this safety zone

and I am confused

 

I realize

I may not be as liberal and accepting

as I think I am

apparently being supportive

means totally

not merely

as far as I’m willing to go

if I don’t go all the way

I’m a fraud

 

if I’m not intimidated

I must be interested

but if I’m not interested

then I’m still trapped

by cultural concepts of gender

by heteronormative ideals of sexuality

 

this all came about

when a trans friend

was enraged that I didn’t find them

sexually attractive

to be frank I didn’t even find them

asexually attractive

but I did enjoy their articulate way

of dealing with struggles of their self discovery

I didn’t realize

their self-esteem was so fragile

that my lack of sexual interest was unsettling

was a lack of acceptance of their struggle

 

so I was confused

I was suddenly like

every other cismale they’d ever met

so because I didn’t know any better

I stepped away from that opportunity

to find a human beneath the struggle

one that is perhaps still

struggling to find itself

I stepped out of the way

I’m not one to hold back progress

while I find a space for myself

in a world where there

is so much black and white thinking

there seems no middle ground

for compassion

Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington at 2018’s capfireslam.org – sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet

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