On a recent Disability After Dark, Andrew Gurza and Dick Wounded talk about kink in it’s many facets. Each of them has found kink experiences that have helped expand & express who they are sexuality & emotionally. You’ll have to download Episode 068.1 on the podcast for details of their kink lives. Some fun, some rather, shall we say, dark, so be warned it is an explicit episode but well worth hearing.

By kink they are mainly talking about bondage and control, or surrendering control to another in intimate situations where trust is crucial. I say intimate because kink isn’t always about the sex itself but the situation or apparatus. Show some men a roll of saran wrap and they get aroused. Show some women seamed nylons and they get moist.

My kink experiences have been ‘interesting’ but often proved to be more work than I was willing to do just to be with someone. Did he like me for me only for the way I wrapped him in saran wrap. The guy who told me he always gets off when someone chokes him was fun until he told me that. For me there isn’t enough personality in saran wrap or a choke hold.

I certainly appreciate the emotional & philosophical context of b&d, s&m – I did my explorations in them on both sides and thought – I’d rather make out. My notion of kink is ‘let’s take a shower.’ 🙂 Knowing people in those communities I’ve also found there is a hunger for more – adding more weight to the scrotum stretcher; just one more piercing, branding.

Then there is the ‘locker room’ talk about what one has tolerated, or done & it becomes even more clear that the acts are always more interesting to the participants than who their partners were. Also in the locker room is the fashion show – the latest toy, the nicest harness, the tightest corset, the biggest whatever. Been there, done that, liked some, bored with some & returned to my version of vanilla 🙂 If you want to be swaddled in saran wrap and have your feet tickled I might be interested as long you wash those feet first.

Slap Unhappy

my masochist lover wants to leave

I’m not causing him enough pain

he’s tried of merely being ashamed

of being seen with me in public

he needs more domestic humiliation

I reminded him

it wasn’t my fault he needed an audience

in order to feel the depths of abasement

that got him off



besides I have rotor cuff tears from

spanking him every time

the dishes weren’t cleared away fast enough

testicular torture

aggravates my Carpel tunnel syndrome

tennis elbow from fisting

doesn’t get me off at all

the constant stream of abuse

I had to supply him with was so draining

I had no spite left

for people who really deserved it

like that asshole barista

who couldn’t make a latte

with no foam

I told him twice no foam

and when it came with foam

a sense of futility

flooded me with each sip

of that fucking latte

I had no choice but to go home

and take it out on my masochistic lover

but that wasn’t enough for him



and now my masochistic lover wants

to leave

because I don’t make him suffer enough

he feels I don’t care when I hurt him

that I’m not really into the brick-weighted nipple clamps

into the cigar scarification

that I do those things with too much detachment

I ask him why my not caring

doesn’t add to his sense of being abused

isn’t it worse when the abuser

does it out of boredom

and not out of passion

once he packed up his latex

I slapped him goodbye

then shut the door


HotDamn! It’s A Queer Slam

June 8-9 – Capturing Fire 2018 – Washington D.C. (flight & hotel already booked) 

Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy ice cream in Washington at 2018’s – sweet,eh?

Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblr


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