Saying Their Names

He is totally nondescript – which fits the description – friendly – well-liked in the community – he could be me – except I’m not alleged, accused. Cishetero friends have asked me about this shocking serial killer – how could he have gotten away with it so long? did you know him? I’m no criminal profiler. No I didn’t know him but it’s not impossible that I met him. I do have friends who have meet him, who have had sex with him. They were stunned as the news unfolded.

I try to answer as best I can and resist saying ‘you don’t give a flying fuck about me or any of the men he allegedly killed – you want sensationalism not the sorrow’ Each new clue is headline fodder not a step toward completion – whatever the hell completion is.

There is so much speculation about how the police conducted this investigation that sounds like people have expected real police procedure to be just like CSI, or any number of other TV crime shows, most based on USA laws not the Canadian criminal code. There are conjectures about the actual evidence as well – TV makes it look like all one needs is the right electronic microscope, a good search engine & ta-da incontestable proof of guilt – provided of course that some technical rule of arrest, of evidence gathering hasn’t sullied things.

These are the victims (so far) Selim Esen, 44, Andrew Kinsman, 49, Majeed Kayhan, 58, Soroush Mahmudi, 50, and Dean Lisowick, 47. I’ll say their names. My great fear is that there’ll more to add before this investigation is over 😦 His will probably never be forgotten so there’s no need for me to mention it.

What I Did For Sex

let him think I was falling in love

brought flowers

pretended to be drunk

said I’ve never done anything like this before

walked three blocks at three a.m.

in pouring rain

flew from one coast to the other

said yes when I meant to say maybe

said maybe when I meant to say no

said no till the first kiss

didn’t shower for three days as requested

lied about my age

agreed to let him take pictures

pretended to be straight

watched a direct to dvd

Steven Seagal comedy

‘wading pool paratroopers 2’

pretended to believe he was straight

listened to music I hated – Diana Krall

wore knee-high athletic socks

apologized when it wasn’t my fault

watched hetero porn with him –

‘The Breastler’

spoke tres mauvais French

ignored the kitty litter underfoot

let him take my socks off with his teeth

put my feet in his face

took showers together

exclaimed it’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen

let the dog stay in the room

stood in smokey bars for endless hours

let him think I wasn’t falling in love


HotDamn! It’s A Queer Slam

June 8-9 – Capturing Fire 2018 – Washington D.C. (flight & hotel already booked) 

Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy ice cream in Washington at 2018’s – sweet,eh?

Like my pictures? I post lots on Tumblr


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