On the 100th episode of the Disability After Dark podcast Andrew Gurza talks at length with Amin Lakhani (https://datingcoachonwheels.com). What starts out as an interview quickly becomes revealing, explicit conversation – the sort of stuff guys never talk about or if they do they are too drunk to keep secrets. It ranges from masculinity to how their declining manual dexterity has changed their masterbation techniques. This is not a podcast for the prudish.
I have been listening to Andrew’s podcast from some years now, starting with his previous ‘brand’ to his rebranding as Disability After Dark. No being disabled myself he has given me a sensitivity & insight to the process of marginalization. I recently saw The Tempest at Stratford. One of the characters Caliban is facial disfigured, plus has a sort of humpback & when he shows a sexual interest in Miranda he is demonized for daring to think she might find him attractive.
In previous viewing of this play, by various directors & performers, I never saw as a ‘problem’ This viewing was different thanks to Andrew pointing out often otherly-abled are either to be pitied in entertainment or are villains. Often their sexuality is considered a sickness rather than a natural part of being human.
Anyway, like the podcast, I digress. Their conversation was expansive, honest & revealing. I related to much of their struggles with emotional connecting vs monogamy. I am in the non-monogamy camp – more akin to polyamory for me. Letting go of the idealization that one finds a life partner, a soul mate has freed me to enjoy the men I am with as men not as some sort of fulfillment of a cultural imperative.
Congratulations on turning 100. Andrew for epsisode 111 I suggest a live podcast 🙂