Change Nothing Changes
if nothing changes
nothing changes
safe is secure
but it isn’t always productive
constructing a life
that is safe and secure
denies the power of insecurity
the energy of being unguarded
things work fine
leave them be
why replace what is still working
even for a newer faster model
with features I never needed
what will I do with the time I save
find more ways of being
safe and secure
of not taking any creative chances
why change the scenery
what’s the point of a new shoes
when all the old ones
are perfectly fine
why moan about the lack of growth
when growth means being open to change
it’s as if
only the dramatic change
is worth seeking out
as if growth only comes from
the greatest pointless risk
that surviving danger
is the only catalyst for moving forward
though why move forward
when things are as good as they need to be
boredom contentment
complacency
the new hair cut
the step away from all black
to blue and yellow
the opportunity to replace
what works fine
is to be open
to what may work the same
yet move things forward
to allow change
let go of the comfortable
that defines one
step into uncertainly
with the certainty things will change
Declaimer: I do not impose sequence or time of posting to coordinate with the time of year so it is ‘coincidence’ that the forces lined this piece to come at this time of year 🙂
As I’ve blogged before I believe gradual change works better than dramatic change – I also believe that ‘superficial’ physical change can lead to deeper emotional change. I have a female friend in recovery who loved a pair of glittery sandals that were always falling off when she walked. She complained of feeling emotionally unsure about certain things & I suggested she get real shoes so she could walk steadily. She looked at me as if I were crazy. I said if she could walk without fear of losing her shoes her emotional footing would also improve. She did & it worked.
Some of us are object hoarders, others are emotional hoarders, some are both 🙂 Giving up a sense of never being good enough is difficult in a culture where feeling good enough is seen as conceit, as arrogance. Inadequacy become comfortable and losing it means replacing it with a change attitude about the self. Would I rather stick to that familiar sense of self or let it go – who would I be then?
I remember watching Hoarders & saw people willing to change, who clearly needed to divest yet who balked at the work needed to do it – they were ‘happier’ in the womb of their stuff – they didn’t know who they would be without it. Sometime I felt ‘the helpers’ did too much, too fast for those ‘rescued’ to adjust to a new clearer reality. Plus relying on guilt & shame in the process is never productive.
In my life change is constant in small ways & sometimes in big ways. I replace perfectly good things – tee-shirts, underwear, socks, mugs, music taste, daily routines – in order to encourage forward motion. Going to Capturing Fire a few years ago was a big change – taking myself out of the comfort of the local poetry scene into a bigger one paid off creatively. It was a logical progression as result of my participation in Hot Damn!
Changing my underwear has also been an interesting process. I don’t mean changing it more often but ‘upgrading’ from the standard solid colour Stanfields/Hanes multipacks to patterns, styles, even fabrics changed my sexual sense of self from the unglamorous functional to a more fun & unexpected sexy secret self that has resulted in a fuller sex life & possibly an even more confident me on stage.
Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington at 2019’s capfireslam.org – sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet
