Chocolates
he wanted to buy me
chocolates
did I like black magic
did I prefer another kind
he want to buy me
a bottle wine
I told him
I don’t drink
I didn’t tell him
I didn’t want him to buy me
anything
it was too soon
we’d met once
this was the second time
and he wanted to buy me things
to take me for a weekend in the country
I told him no thanks
I let him pay for a hot chocolate
he wanted to see me again
wanted to take me to dinner
I said no thank you
because I didn’t want him
not even as a friend
he was too demanding
in this need to please
he wasn’t my type
too tall too thin too smooth
I met him the first time
to step out of my comfort zone
he was sweet enough
we made out
it wasn’t unpleasant
until he flooded my inbox
asking to see me again
asking if he could buy me
chocolates
so I saw him again
we made out
it wasn’t fun it was duty
there was no chemistry
other than his need to buy me
chocolates
and that wasn’t enough for me
Kor (not his real name) I met on line. He liked my profile and my pics. I knew he’d read my profile because he mentioned that he too wrote poetry, & also that he took photos. We exchanged more information. I sent him link to my Tumblr & he sent a file of his landscape photos. My photo aesthetic is not landscape but they were standard pretty pics.
We agree to meet at a subway station. Kor is on time after taking a Go train, bus & finally subway. He is taller than me, thinner than me, appears (to me) older than me. his English is learner ESL. As we walk over to a nearby coffee shop he is already asking what kind of chocolates do I like so he can bring me some the next time we meet. This is what I call a red flag – not that I don’t enjoy eagerness to please but not so soon. It came across as a needy, desperate & lonely. He’s telling me about his photo trips to the lake country & can’t wait for us to go on one to take sunset pictures. Another red flag – though if he had said he knows an abandoned hotel we can sneak into I might have ignored that red flag. Sunsets on the lake aren’t for me.
His English comprehension ebbs and flows with what he opts to understand or rather what suits his plan. At the coffee shop he does buy a hot chocolate. We sit at a table – he pulls out his phone to show me pictures, hundreds of lake pictures. He says these are really Canada. They could be pretty lakes in Poland or Scotland for all I could tell. His knees rub mine, his hand rubs my knee. He is really glad we are getting along so well. He wants to see some of my photos. I tell him next time we met. I’m hoping there is no next time if I don’t come across this first time.
After a barrage of texts there is a next time. I don’t have a smart phone so we go to my house. I show him my iPhoto albums: broken chairs, cast off shoes, books of books, toys. It is clear he doesn’t get my aesthetic. It is also clear it isn’t my aesthetic he wants to get his hands on.
You get the picture. I felt no sexual chemistry, nor did I feel any other chemistry either. His eagerness, regardless of the emotional needs that fuelled it put me off. I wasn’t sure how to say thanks but no thanks – in fact I did & his English comprehension vanished. So I ghosted him. This ends with an admission that at one time his eagerness might have been enough. I didn’t want to feel I was taking advantage of him as I didn’t doubt his sincerity. Though if Kor had been a foot shorter it might have been a different ending 🙂
Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington at 2019’s capfireslam.org – sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet
