The Facts of Life
I am a man
in a man’s body
there was a time
when I doubted this
a time when gender was fixed
by cultural controlled behaviours
men felt this and only this
women felt this and only this
to explain
variations in object desire
people were reduced
to data that was used to explain
what didn’t fit
so that men
in men’s bodies
who desired other men’s bodies
were actual women in men’s bodies
genders misplaced
trapped and looking for release
that a man would desire another man
could be explained
in terms of heterosexual norms
because only a woman
could would should
have sexual desire for a man
when I realized I desired men
I accepted that theory
I was a woman trapped in a man’s body
though it never made sense
but it was deemed more reasonable
than man to man attraction
the data proved that
yet my human experience
refused to conform to that data
I tried on the dress
I pushed my butch button
swagger not sashay
I couldn’t conform
or commit
to prevailing theories of the time
I changed
accepted that I am is this
undefinable entity
such is life
I am a man
in a man’s body
who is attracted
to men’s bodies
I’m not a theory
merely a fact of life
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