Nine Lives
O when I was nine
I was still a child
there was no instant communication
news travelled slow
on the radio TV news newspapers
delay that provided an innocence
I knew about war
because my Dad had fought in one
he was a man
my mother was a woman
I was a boy child
who only knew what the culture
of the time
reported of my gender
O when I was nine
I wasn’t aware of so much
I did know I wasn’t like other boys
I played backlot-baseball
I played with dolls
I wasn’t the son my dad expected
I didn’t like to fight
like other boys
I never understood
why physical violence was required
to be accepted
O when I was nine
I had indulged in sex play
with boys and girls
looking at the differences
anatomy I didn’t understand
the boys where more interesting
I didn’t come out
but I knew shame
when we were caught
I had fear
but no closet
sex was dirty regardless
of gender
O when I was nine
I don’t know I was swimming
that I was making waves
as I dog-paddled from nine to nineteen
by that time I knew
these were dangerous waters
O at nine there was only
the fear of getting caught
not the fear
of my culture drowning me
like an unwanted litter of kittens
that were denied their nine lives
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TOpoet 