El segundo primer beso
I knew that I missed your kiss
but I didn’t realize
how much I needed it
that came as a surprise
much like the moment
when it was clear
that our last kiss
was almost the last kiss
maybe neither us knew
it was to be the last for awhile
it might have a lasting memory
until I had that dream of you
we hadn’t spoken for two years
after that kiss
not that it ended in anger
it just ended
first I stumbled upon
a short clip from a porno
a Latino man
with a beautiful face
talking Portuguese to the camera
while playing with his dick
his eyes
his smile
his sexual eagerness
was so much you
though you spoke Spanish
but that look
that invitation
is the same in any language
then I had a dream
of you emotionally hurting
I dreamt it twice more
before I had to reach out
we reconnected shyly
gladly
then hungry for that first kiss
deeper
than the memory of the last
‘Based on a true story’ 🙂 One of the dumbest things I ever did was when I stopped seeing … um … let’s call him Beso to keep it simple. I’d meet him on line & our first meeting was chaste & our second was incendiary. His work shifts made it difficult for us to see each regularly so each time was special. He’d even been to my house for supper a few times. Then it ended without warning.
Being an all or nothing guy I unfriended him etc. But I couldn’t get him out of mind. He was one of the few men who I wrote poems for/about. As this piece says nothing happened but it just ended. The porno clip is fact – I watched it several times & each time Beso haunted me.
I had that dream. I doubt if I would have recontacted him without the dreams. I friended him again on FB, asked if he wanted to meet up to catch up. We met and went for coffee & creme caramel. We came back to my house and boom – incendiary. Some thing sin his life had changed: work etc. But the chemistry hadn’t changed.
I could have let my stubbornness keep us apart forever. The thought of dying & never seeing him again did away with that stubbornness. Life is short enough as it is & inviting as much joy into as one can makes perfect sense. Even if that joy doesn’t fulfill all exceptions what it does fulfill is enough & always leaves me wanting more.
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TOpoet 