Nothing To Lose
I was sure I left it there
it was there the last time I looked
I haven’t seen it
have you looked in here
have you looked anywhere
or did you expect me to know
to keep an eye on things
without being asked
I don’t know where it is
I have more important things to do
no I didn’t move it
I didn’t see anyone take it
this is where I usually put it
I can’t leave the house without it
it can’t be replaced
there’s no reason for it to be moved
it has to be here always
it’s the perfect spot for it
it didn’t move itself
did it fall to the floor
is it under here
is it upstairs
did you even bring it with you
did you leave the house without it
you can always get a new one
it was time to move on
time to let go
of the hold of things
free yourself of objects
find a place
where there is nothing to lose
nothing to be looked for
nothing to be hidden
and everything
to be revealed
This piece is part list poem – various thoughts on misplacing something & usually not realizing until one is leaving, in a hurry but can’t got without it. I have a spot by my front door where I always put my keys, my sunglasses etc. Before heading out I have to make sure I have everything in my pockets or shoulder bag before I leave. Gone are the days of just putting a jacket & going somewhere.
By everything I mean phone, camera, coffee cards, credit cards, points cards, wallet (I no longer carry credit cards with my $), sometimes iPod, Kindle & something else, but I can’t remember what. If one of those items isn’t where I think I put it then I can’t leave without it. I change jackets and/or shoulder bags from day to day, so have to remember to transfer from one to the other.
Not too long ago I misplaced my Starbucks gold card. I searched every item of clothing I was wearing the last time I used it, shoulder bags were emptied, jacket pockets turned inside out, I checked the shop to see if I dropped it there. No where to be found. I went to the website to get a replacement but that process was endless & so I think I applied for a replacement but didn’t get even an auto-response so I must have done something wrong?
The getting out a credit card out comes the Starbucks card stuck to it – I had tucked the card into a different part of the wallet than I usually do & never checked sufficiently the tiny tight compartment. It did mean I avoided Starbucks for a week or so, no big deal. The replacement never arrived, just as well, right.
Anyway back to this piece. It wavers between the list & a bit of a dialogue of being accused for losing whatever is lost – I didn’t see anyone take it. It take a slight philosophic turn with ‘free yourself of objects’ – to free myself of Starbucks wouldn’t be such a big thing. It delves into the mystic for the ending. What we can’t find may not be hidden or lost.
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