I was going to call this post ‘the power of no’ but this is more about how ‘no’ changes things in unexpected ways. This will be a ‘too much information’ post as well so if you don’t want to read about the vagaries of gay male dating just look at the photos & skip to the poem at the end 🙂 Don’t say you haven’t been warned.
A few years ago I started seeing this married (to a woman) gay guy. He wanted a friendship outside the bedroom so we went out to dinners, went shopping for clothes together – that sort of thing. We talked about how to promote his business, family issues with children from his 1st marriage. I enjoyed being with him. 
It was never an exclusive thing, nor did I expect it to be. Men sleep around, such is life. The sex was fun. We’d get together once a month or so. One of the guys he was seeing turned him on to poppers & grass – which he enjoyed – neither of which are a part of my life. We had a conversation around this. I didn’t mind him using poppers when we were together but drew the line there. Things don’t get smoked, vaped in my house. He was free to smoke up before he got here but I guess smoking up together is a form of foreplay. I even suggested he could try edibles.
We enjoyed each other that night but … we haven’t had direct communication since then. Part of our deal was that he’d be in touch so I wasn’t to text etc lest it cause ripples in his domestic/business life. I’ve said hi when we both on the site where I first met him. No reply. His profile has been ‘updated’ with a line about preferring guys who enjoy the use of poppers & 420.
Such is life 🙂 This isn’t the first time, nor will be the last, where my decision to remain recreational drug free has changed my social life. Knowing the damage most of them do to the immune system is reason enough. In recovery I’ve heard many too stories of the progressive nature of recreational drug use – the need for stronger grass sort of thing – oh, why not try a line of coke. I doubt if my former playmate is an addict but I’m glad I’m not going be around to find out. Plus he has had an example of me for a few years not needing any enhancements to enjoy sex. This is how things end – not with a bang but a puff of smoke 🙂
The Drone of Silence
without hustle and bustle
there would be a vacuum
peace and quiet
are as respites exceptions
until quiet turns into tedium
the need for distraction barges in
rescuing us from peace and quiet
things we want but only for so long
if we aren’t active then we are wasters
lazy-ass sitters-around up to no good
when we aren’t adding
to the endless stutter of stuff
by looking for that quiet spot
or looking for the right noise suppressing earbuds
so you can be in the flow
but not have to hear the flow
drown out the mall music
the coughing slur of words
escape and hide
while being in the middle of things
you can’t wait to get out of
get back to peace and quiet
where after five seconds
you are flipping through playlists
for bird sounds
to really sooth you
while in the park
anything
to drown out the drone of silence
January
Thursday 23 – Hot Damn! It’s Queer Slam – Buddies and Bad Times Theatre
March
March 5 – Hot Damn! It’s Queer Slam – Buddies and Bad Times Theatre
April
April 3 – Hot Damn! It’s Queer Slam – Season 6 finales Buddies andBbad Times Theatre
May
Richard III – Stratford Festival
June – Capturing Fire 2020 – Washington D.C. 
capfireslam.org
July
All’s Well That Ends Well – Stratford Festival
Hey! Or you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee in Washington at 2020’s capfireslam.org – sweet, eh? paypal.me/TOpoet
