Unreliable
your story changes
each time you tell it
so is it no wonder
no one is sure just what happened
not that you cry wolf
but the wolf mutates
first it didn’t snarl
then you weren’t afraid of the snarl
subtle elaborations
no one doubts
that you met the wolf
but it’s no longer clear
what happened next
except that you survived
without even a bite mark on you
though perhaps
the next time you tell the story
you will reveal the scar
from the bite
that you said didn’t happen
because you couldn’t tell everything
you didn’t expect it to be believed
you needed to trust us
before going any deeper
into what really happened
so it went from seeing the wolf
in the general area
to meeting said wolf
and declining further contact
to never having been in touch
with the wolf before you saw him
to having sex with the wolf
but not enjoying it enough
or
well we’re not sure
except we don’t doubt
you met the wolf
or that the wolf
was caught with the blood of lambs
in his fur
none of blood was yours
but you knew some of those lambs
what will come next
as your story changes
that you escaped is clear
but what are you hiding
from yourself
This is another piece partly triggered by the serial killer coverage, in particular the number of gay men who came forward before, during & after the hunt. Those who tried to bring police attention to the notion of a serial killer were not taken seriously by the authorities – they were merely paranoid alarmists.
When it became clear these men weren’t being paranoid alarmists the press was quickly on the scent of witnesses. The killer, as it turns out, was known as a randy daddy in the community. Several had had first-hand experience & were eager to tell their stories. The press, as usual, took them at their word. Surely no one would claim to have slept with the killer just to get some TV time?
One man ended up interviewed at different times during the investigation. Interviewed by different networks & various media. His story became more revealing as more was revealed about the killer. He was, to me, literally the fictional unreliable narrator. He was caught in a paradox of wanting to talk yet not wanting to be judged at the same time. He was no ‘innocent’ victim.
It’s unfortunate we live in a media culture where the disposable are so eager for acknowledgment they jump at any opportunity for being seen. Because the early whistleblowers were marginalized they weren’t seen as credible but as attention seekers. Even now with some time between the conviction & today there are some who feel those faggots got what they deserved. What are they hiding from themselves?
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