No
no thank you
I’m not that hungry
I’ve learned
it’s okay to say no
to what I don’t want
it has nothing to do with you
it’s not something I would
ordinarily eat anyway
I’m not watching my weight
just my intake
so no thank you
I’m really not hungry
I had a snack earlier
yes it looks good
but no thank you
why can’t you take no for an answer
no I won’t want it later
I realize all the work you put into it
the time it took
that you planned this specially for me
I am pleased by the efforts you took
but that’s not enough
to make me want to eat
what I don’t want to eat
I know where that compliance leads to
so I’m saying no now
I won’t be pressured
no doesn’t mean
open for negotiation
if I let you talk me into this
you’ll think
you can talk me into anything
that you can coax me
into doing things I don’t want to do
even those harmless things
this no is relevant
no thank you
Based on a true story! Or rather on true stories. Some people take a ‘no’ to food, or a drink, or the drugs they love & want to share with you, as a rejection of them. The ‘no’ becomes your personal judgement on them as cooks, hosts or possible sex partners. One host who persistently offered me a drink thought I thought his wine wasn’t to my snooty standards.
Similarly saying ‘no’ to the offer of some tokes in a bar became playing hard to get – I was merely refusing not to smoke up not refusing to socialize with them. But for many people booze, drugs = socializing. At one time I would do a little explaining about being in recovery etc but you know, in the long run, it wasn’t worth the effort.
If they can’t understand a simple ‘no’ it isn’t up to me to justify that. Explaining can quickly become negotiation. If you won’t do this maybe you’ll do that instead. It create a conversation of persuasion that I’m not interested in. As the menu of options increases my interest decreases.
At a restaurant with an extensive wine list the waiter offered several he felt would compliment my meal perfectly. I told him clearly that I don’t drink & that I wasn’t interested in his suggestions. In fact every entree on the menu had a suggested wine listed with it. I wanted to say – if I need wine to make the food taste good then I really don’t want anything.
Of course ‘food’ here is symbolic for the many things people present hoping we’ll take – emotional demand, time demands, sexual trade-offs. Taking ‘no’ for answer is defeat. But if they aren’t listening to me & see my ‘no’ as a challenge I’m not interested.
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TOpoet 