One of things that is discussed in The Artist’s Way week 3 is shaming – things like ‘you think you’re so great’ or ‘get a real job because your ….. (fill in the blank) will never make enough money & is only a hobby’ or ‘boys don’t do that sort of thing’ ‘good writers know how to spell & punctuate.’
My parents often encouraged me to be more like other kids – the subtext being that I wasn’t good enough – oddly when I said wanted to do something or have something the others kids had I was told ‘think for you self.’ My parents wondered why I preferred to spend so much time alone & then worried about the artsy people I began to hang out with – musician hippies & clearly drug users.
Thanks to the current covid19, social distancing, work at home, I’m reading lots of griping about being alone & how boring it is. I’ve had years of social distancing so this all come natural to me. When, as a poet, one doesn’t drink, smoke, use any number of social drugs people have been happy to be socially distant from me. Go figure.
One of the tasks is a ‘bad habits’ list which syncs perfectly with an excellent book I just finished reading – Deep Work by Cal Newport. Frittering away time on-line is one of my most non-productive habits but it is a hard addiction to step away from – made harder by the constantly changing covid climate. The need to know can take over the need to be productive. 
Vow of Noise
I took a vow of noise
a promise to the future
from my silenced past
to say what I have to say
not to stop for anyone
not listen to anyone else
because once I’ve said it all
it’s all been said
no one else will ever have to
find the right words
I’ll have saved them the trouble
I’ll have made all the necessary apologies
all the required promises
solved the intellectual conundrum
of what to do with emotional blind alleys
here is the solution
gushing out of me
at the speed of sound
stop talking and listen to me
you have to hear me
I‘ve been given
the sole rights to speak
the rest of the world
can be plunged into silence
think of all the work that’ll save you
when only I have the right to talk
if you don’t speak your mind
your mind will be silent enough
to realize
that no one has anything to say
so you might as well let an idiot
like myself
do all the talking for you
make an ass of myself
so you can rest quietly in your homes
relaxed and untroubled
by even the need to formulate a sentence
the blessing will be sweet serenity
who can ask for more
not you
because you aren’t allowed to talk
I have taken on that burden
for all mankind
I’ll be the only one
who has to answer to the Maker
when the time comes
it’ll be so much simpler
one solitary voice
to speak for all
no clamour and clutter
no shouting arguing yelling
conflict will disappear
and you’ll have me to thank
surrender your right
to conversation to me
the one who has taken
a sacred vow of noise
has taken endless repetition
off your backs
and put it on the tip of my tongue
nothing will be repressed
I’ll get it all off your chest
and into the the universe
I’ll leave no hatred unuttered
no blessing unfulfilled
no sacredness undefiled
praises insults slurs slaps
adulation love
I’ll take over all that
a single direct voice will be more effective
undistracted by points of view
are you getting this down
are the cameras on me
beamed into smart phones
movies will be silent once again
a new calm will settle on the earth
as silence takes over
as I tire of the sound of my own voice
while you go about your daily lives
content in the knowledge
that I am speaking up for you
soon you won’t even have to listen
you won’t need to hear
that sonic shift
will get our planet on the right track
all that noise pollution
dampening down
you won’t need jobs
because they are are only there
to get you enough cash to communicate
but when you have no need to speak
there won’t be anything left
to communicate
slip into serenity
till even I have nothing left to say
I can stand on any hilltop
to the be greeted by the calm
all around me
no sound waves to move the clouds
bliss will arrive softly
a rain drop on my lips
April
? – Hot Damn! It’s Queer Slam – Season 6 finales Buddies and Bad Times Theatre – date to be announce thanks to COVID19
June
June 25-26-27 – Capturing Fire 2020 – Wooly Mammoth Theatre -Washington D.C. 
capfireslam.org
July
All’s Well That Ends Well – Stratford Festival
Hey! You can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee
at Ted’s Bulletin in Washington DC
at 2020’s capfireslam.org – sweet, eh? paypal.me/TOpoet
