My Time
I am a creature of routine
no matter how hot the guy
I am unavailable at certain times
often the only time they are free
which they take personally
even though all we know
about each other are profile pics
& what we claim are our likes
they act as if my time boundary
is playing hard to get
or just playing them
a sign I’m not really interested
that all I want is their desire
not their bodies
one guy said ‘if you’re going to be that way
good luck because you’ll need it’
as if my schedule
was a character fault
one called me inflexible
though I had suggested other times
other days
his inflexibility was of no concern to him
whereas mine was arbitrary
whatever
I have a life
I don’t set it aside for no dick
or perhaps they see it
as control
that I am making it clear
I am the dominant, the top,
not some submissive bottom bitch
gasping eager for their randy visit
even if I am eager
it’s still my time
I have an acquaintance in recovery who will phone & launch into their conversation. No hello, no is this a good time, no how are you. I will stop them asap if I’m busy but they’ve never learned to say – is this a good time. I have another friend in recovery who calls & really needs to meet facto face for a real talk. I suggest times – none of which fit his schedule – he assumes that for the sake off recovery I’ll change my schedule to suit his needs. I’ve done this a few times only to have him text to say he’d be late or etc.
What does this have to do with ‘My Time’ – recovery has taught me to respect my own needs, to respect my boundaries & not to let people-pleasing turning into martyrdom. Times I’ve been persuaded to make allowances for another’s time constraints have rarely worked well for either party.
Sticking to my guns often has people acting as if my not being inconvenienced by them is an inconvenience to them. That also might have to do with he fact that I don’t apologize, any more, or explain either, when I say ‘not free at that time.’ Odd how being firm can be seen as arrogant or indifferent.
I no longer take the bait of being guilted into being agreeable. I’d rather be seen as unreasonable than being seen as an ‘any time Chuck.’ Now in the age of covid distancing such inflexibility is even more necessary & a covid ‘no’ is acceptable to many. Even if I am eager, now, it’s still my life.
Hey! Now you can give me $$$ to defray blog fees & buy coffee at – sweet,eh? paypal.me/TOpoet
TOpoet 
Learned so much from you 💕