Week 7 on The Artist’s Way is about connection to creativity – as opposed to our connection with others. One of things that hampers that creative connection is perfectionism. I have a writing friend who has been perfecting the same thirty page opening to his novel for some ten years now. It has to be perfect so he can send it to an agent etc. He no longer asks me for advice 🙂 I stopped that by telling him it would cost $100 an hour for a minimum of three hours before I would be willing to look at his work-in-progress.
There is a section on risk – the willingness to try & not succeed as we envisioned. For me this is part of the process of letting go of expectations, of control. In recovery they say you plan the plans but the results are in the universe’s hands. I’ve painted rooms one colour only to have the paint dry in a different one 🙂
As with the Ways chapters so far there some sifting through the past for missed opportunities & for good turning points. In my covid house-cleaning frenzy I’ve unearthed old note books, old rough drafts, old photographs. Those photos reconnected me with where I was in my early 20’s, long before I moved to Toronto. I’ve also been reading Old Trout Funnies – an excellent book about a comic book series by Paul ‘Moose’ MacKinnon that was first issued while I was living in Cape Breton. (https://www.facebook.com/OldTroutFunnies).
Moose was one of my drinking crowd & he included real people (some of whom I knew) in the comics & calendars. In one issue there is even a plug (page 70) for my poetry book ‘Distant Music’ which had been published at the time. So there was actual creative support for me in that community at that time.
One of the tasks was to wear a favourite item of clothing for no special reason. All my clothes are favourites, so what I did was to pick some things I rarely wear but save for intimate encounters 🙂 Namely some wrestling singlets & some revealing undies I bought a few years ago. Very snug but also very sexy. Photos “fansonly” 🙂
My Underwear
it seems the best way
to put out the fire
in your heart
was to run over to a bar
drink till there was
only a stumble of drunks
to deal with
there was no way out of it
except to break the windows
push your grandma down the stairs
so what if there weren’t
any stairs in our apartment
you still get the picture
yeah I know
drawing it in crayons
all over the hall to our place
wasn’t a great idea
but you have to admit
it caught the lighting of the fire
without using up all the reds
only the blues
the blues you give everyone
who is lucky enough
to catch you on your balcony
ready to jump
don’t do it
or if you have to
wait till I get back with coffee
I have to be careful
the contents may be hot
but wet will always
put out the flame
it makes no difference to me
what burns you out of my system
hot coffee or direct flame
maybe tossing all your undies
in the shredder was a bit much
but it seems the only way
to keep you out of them
to keep you fresh
ready and pliant
not that you wore them
that often anyway
going commando
wasn’t a rare event
bare-assed at McDonalds
where did you park those buns
yeah not so funny
does it look like I’m laughing
all the way home
to the shadowed moment
when there once was a dart of hope
now just a bunch
of empty coat hangers
in a clump
I can’t pull apart
hangers that once held
everything you ever wore
around the house
out in the street
yeah I’m a total liar
I never picked up a drink
because of you
that isn’t going to happen
wasn’t even tempted
you took something out of my life
but you left behind
more that you took
I don’t need to breath
it’s all up to you now
as if it alway wasn’t
I can’t get over
the number of times
I wanted to paint the hall way
that I wanted to use
your tooth brush to clean
the coffee machine
so I wouldn’t have to go out
for a fresh cup to dump
in your laugh
because I’m sure
that behind closed eyes
you are smirking like a tried urinal
knowing that you pissed
me off one too many times
you know
if you were here now
I’d probably take you back
but still wouldn’t trust you
as far as you could throw
my underwear
I do have a limited number of the original Distant Music chapbook for sale for $25.00 each (includes surface mail postage). Order via the paypal along with where to send it.
TOpoet 