I Sleep Around

I Sleep Around

when I say

I sleep around

I really mean

I have regular sex

with the same different men

I don’t actually sleep

I’m quite awake when I’m with them

they on the other hand

sometimes fall asleep

in my arms

not out of boredom

or even exhaustion

but out of comfort

men who have had an opportunity

to step away from the stressors

of their lives

for a few hours

escaping

lovers wives kids jobs

empty apartments

where they can leave behind definitions

to be naked

to be nothing but enfolded

safe

I still check in at certain gay dating sites & am amazed that they are still as active. I decline all approaches & let those interested know no play until covid is ‘controlled.’ Not going down until the numbers go down – actually until the vaccine is provided. Not that I’ve been totally celibate but I have severely limited my contact to one buddy I’ve seen for years, who works from home etc. Even that is sporadic thanks to the pandemic.

BC (before covid19) I could predict when who would be looking for their ‘step away.’ If it’s Tuesday is must be …. Some wanted a quick shower alone as they were dropping by after work, another liked to shower with me. One drops by earlier to watch a movie, have supper & play after 🙂 I’ve never been a hump & dump sort of guy.

As I write this I’m sure some of you might think my moral compass is broken, that I’m reckless, that I have no shame – a man my age should be beyond such base interactions. Obviously I am not an example of a good homosexual who is eager to be assimilated into acceptance by the heteronormative culture I’m stuck in. Or perhaps I’m a compulsive liar whose sex life is confined to looking at dick pics on gay causing site & this all a fantasy.